Huh. I haven't posted anything in a while. Is that because there's nothing to post? No. It's 'cause I'm lazy... or the exact opposite... I'm not sure. Jacobs coffee is sparkly. And that's about it. Tatas for now (.)(.)

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! Do you ever realize things about your friends that make them 100002039780937289472 times more awesome instantly??? Well I just did! I SO FUCKING LOVE YOU DUDE!!!! Ahhhhhh best person ever!

Status updates are lovely, aren't they?

Em - wants to become famous, because maybe if she does you'll see her on tv and remember, and get in contact, and then maybe she'll get to see you again.

I'm not always that melodramatic, just circumstantially because I'm leaving and not coming back...

SO, what's up in the life of mE? Em turned around. Convinient, eh? I thought so.

Two big things:

Ireland looks like it's gonna happen sooner than i thought. I need only about 200 euro more until I can go! woohoo!

I finally found the school I want to go to, New York Film Academy. It looks like a lot of fun. I hope, once i apply, that i get in.

I don't have much to talk about. Nothing seems interesting enough to write about, or I'm just not in the mood to write. that happens a lot lately.

reading: into the wild. that's a good book... too bad it actually happened. cause, i mean, who among us hasn't felt that same feeling? break free from the norm, go test yourself against the wild. what do you think is driving my ireland trip? only i think i have the sense to not die. i know the rules apply to me, and that's one thing he was lacking. he said he wanted to live, but my personal opinion is that if he wanted to live he'd be alive. he'd know what to do to keep himself out of trouble. especially such simple trouble as the trouble that killed him. you can "live" on the edge, and it will, contrary to popular belief, make you feel like a better person. but to live you have to stay alive, and you should really know your limits. Nevertheless, i admire his get out and go attitude. i do think we should all measure ourselves once in our lives. but, we dont all have to measure the same way.

i smell like small child b.o. ... yack. that's what happens when a herd of children, ages 7, 5, 4, and 2 all make camp at your house. but the two year old is soooooo cute. at first we didn't know any of their names (cept the 7 year old, she's ours), and we heard the dad calling the 4 year old whose name we couldnt figure out... sounded like biscuit, so thats what we call him now. then there's rian or ryan whatever the two year old, but we didn't know his name until recently either. he once had to use our toilet and ... he's two, so he needed help getting up, and while on the pot he said "auch ah-ah" cause apparently two year olds cant say caca that well, and took a big dump, so we call him captain ah-ah. he came running through the house completely naked yesterday, tiny dingle hanging out, and completely happy!

my life is warm right now. sofa king hot out. found two friends i knew forever ago through myspace, it's nice to have somebody who knew me when i was little back. life is good.

It's Official

I've found my story. I have honestly never enjoyed writing more.

Oh, one more thing

I love you too

Co-Co would dream of dancing at midnight beneath the stars, cause when it comes to dancing Co-Co's a star!

I'm back, fyi. Graduated, visited extensively with family, said goodbye to friends, and jumped into the future. I wish I knew if I was going to be here for a while longer or not, cause being so unstable is quite prohibitive of applying for jobs. I feel like I'd have a boost of confidence if I knew what the rest of this year looked like. Hell, I'd rest easier if I knew what the rest of the week had in mind... hold up, no I wouldn't. I don't want to know the future.

One thing I'd like to know though... Slow Wind by Akon, R. Kelly, and Sean Paul... who told them lyrics like "i feel like a butcher, just wanna chop you up and cut you" or "beautiful skin, the color of mustard" or "ride you like a range rover" were romantic or sexually enticing? From the sounds of it he wants a hot dog. And what exactly is he doing to his Range Rover? It's a car for gawds sake, we don't fuck those.

I miss several people. And they're all sitting right in front of me. Isn't that just the way?

I've written 5 songs in the past week. Recorded / finished 3 of them. I'm always playing an instrument but it's usually somebody else's song. This flow of original music is weird for me. But I did find my place in song writing. I've always tried mainstream stuff, you know, with lyrics and a beat. Turns out I'm much more motivated at writing soundtracks. Let's add another tack to the "reasons why I should study film" wall. In other music news, I learned "Hello" by Beyonce on piano. I go into this little zone where I can't pull myself away. I love it too. I close my eyes and everything disappears. It's kind of like the zone I go into running, only this one's deeper.

My beautiful flower Petunia is blooming. Her flowers keep getting bigger. We welcomed a new bud yesterday. Doing quite well. Actually from this angle, in the shadow, she looks ... like a really pretty flower.

Your warm whispers, letting me drown in a pool of you.

Is it bad to love your best friend with all of your heart? And respect the hell out of her best friend? Are four days a long time?

I'm listening to the Backstreet Boys. When I was little I was best friends with my neighbor. We each claimed a backstreet boy. I wanted Bryan, but he was taken so I got stuck with Howie. Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone. Played my part, kept you in the dark... you finish it. My old friend got a scholarship from Fastpitch to go to college. Three weeks ago I would have been jealous. But I'm not. I don't even know her anymore.

Everyone mark their calendars on June 6th, 2009. That was my best day ever. I graduated, all of my friends were there, all of my family was there. They flew across the world, and if they couldn't then they sent a card with the ones who could. I have the sweetest family ever. The best friends... you're never as alone as you think you are.

Hungry Like The Wolf! Doo x 15 !! I'm on the hunt I'm after you

Goodnight.

Oh, fuck the cosmos! Today is not my fucking day! Here's my ipod shuffle list, for the last few songs:

1. Fugees - Killing Me Softly
2. The Offspring - Want You Bad
3. Incubus - The Warmth
4. Ryan Cabrerra - True
5. Animotion - Obsession
6. Susanna And The Magical Orchestra - Believer
7. Katy Perry - Thinking Of You


I have nearly 4000 songs. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I am talking about a girl.

Five Things

Here are five things I feel today:

1. Happy
2. Like a dumbass
3. Slightly confused
4. Tired
5. Fidgety

no drugs involved

Let me start by saying I don't hate all men. Just a lot of them it seems. Or... one, a lot.

What is it with guys that they can't take a hint? Why must they persist in thinking that the way to pick up a girl (as in gf, not fuck buddy) is to hold them tightly against your body as you dirty dance them and don't let them go? Okay, so they're... there. But that doesn't mean she likes it. Why doesn't a simple "stop" work? Or how about "no"? Is his head to fucking thick? Does he not hear it over the roaring drugs and alcohol? Oh that's right, we're supposed to claim you don't do drugs anymore, because you're so "upstanding" and "sincere". Really, if you show up so fucked up to begin with, you should realize we know. Also, kissing me on the cheek and saying "nothing personal" while dragging her away is NOT going to make her want you any more than she does. Which, she doesn't, so just get the fuck over it. Stop pulling her away from people, trying to drag her behind buildings, trying to make out with her while she's leaning on my lap. CLEARLY she doesn't want that. CLEARLY she doesn't like you. So why don't you go fuck yourself, because from the looks of you that's all you can get. Skinny, drug ruined, fucktard wanker. Leave. Her. Alone. She's a big girl, she can make her own decisions, and obviously her decision is not you.

I've never felt like hitting someone more in my life. But I have to hold it back, and remember I'm there for her, a shoulder to lean on, not a body guard. He was so fucking wasted that I could have knocked him out with my pinky. And no, putting your forehead on mine and looking into my eyes is NOT going to make me want to 1. kiss you 2. fuck you 3. dance you 4. have anything to do with you. So how about you bugger off and for all I care die. Sad that you don't realize how much of a jizwad you are.

Signed,
A protective friend... and not your friend either.

Languages

Can I just take a sec to say how much I love speaking? Gem knows. But what I mean today is that I find it absolutely thrilling that I can listen to someone sing a song, and sing right along with them, making all of the same exact noises with the same exact techniques as them and everyone else who falls under the category of English. You don't ever really understand how hard that is until you start learning another language.

Speaking of that, I remember songs that were on when I first moved here. I had no fucking clue what they meant. Not a clue. Gradually the understanding got better, so I could pick out words. Then I don't know what happened, but I didn't try as much to learn the language, I just did what I did as far as I could. Then a couple weeks ago, I picked up my old ipod and on came that song I tried so hard to learn. And guess what? I understood every word, first try. Funny eh! (Monni, le German one, the song was Für Immer Und Dich incase you felt like knowing)

In conclusion! I was just feeling especially good about a language, any language, being a given for me. I can pull English out of my ass like there's no tomorrow bitchez!

Automated Teller Machine

Number one chat phrase that bothers me: ATM. It's taken people! Here's an example; the I Have No Idea What's Going On ATM


For those of you who use it, the only reason it bothers me is that I never think "at the moment". I always picture one of those things ^. But I do use it. It's not annoying like "ilu" is annoying. FUCK I hate that acronym. I love you is an important phrase, if you're gonna say it SAY IT. CHRIST people!

Okay okay okay

So for those of you who were interested in seeing how my art exhibition went... yeah. It went really well. Such an awesome opportunity. I did my vewy vewy best, and people noticed. As for the artwork, my video was the spice and life of the exhibition, and my full heart was in it... a view through my eyes, but unfortunately I can't show you. It's not that I'm being *increadibly* selfish, but this is something I worked for two years on, put my entire being into, and is such a huge insight into everything that I am on the inside... how I see the world, that I couldn't just throw it up on youtube for a bunch of shitheads to comment on, and people to save with keepvid and let it collect dust. It's for sale for 8 Euro, but I doubt you'll go get your wallets (as a matter of fact there are a few of you who I'd feel bad *selling* something to), so I've got pictures of the rest of the exhibition! And somebody comment or something and tell me if you want me to put a scene from the movie on or something, I feel really bad not showing you. Or or or friend me on youtube and I'll make you able to view it ... or whatever, I'm going overboard, just look at my shite!

Quickly, my theme for the entire exhibition was "Musical Emotion", basically about how the emotion that music causes in people is expressed and how music runs through us all. Art is so visual, and not often associated with anything like music, but both go hand in hand. It's an emotion coming out. I wanted to connect the two. So the idea over all was to get the viewer to hear the song that inspired each painting while they look at it. Figuratively though, I didn't have mp3 players everywhere. They could hear their own songs too.


First's first. Here's one of the biggest pains in the asses that I've ever had in my entire constructive life. The biggest, most time consuming (other than film), most difficlut, but also most worth it piece. This is a statement on the Obama election process. There are three layers... you probably can't see the first at this distance, so here, I'll show you.

So the background of each letter, thats right, is a bunch of tiny obama photos. The second layer is his "Yes We Can" speech. You know... well if you don't, read from left to right just like a book those letters down there VVV

And of course the speech forms the letters YES WE CAN. Basically, without me going into emotional outbursts again, each layer means something. Background means obama's campaign. The whole thing that ran without a hitch, and just his words constantly in the air. The speech is what Americans needed to hear. It's what we've wanted, what we've searched for, what we were waiting for for so long. The last layer means two things. Yes we can, you can hear those words "ringing from coast to coast" now. Not only in america, but in the world. I hear it all the time, and foreigners seem to have more fun throwing it around than we do. Yes, we can elect a black man. Yes we can do so many things nobody thought we could, and fact is, it's already happened. This election wasn't about what will happen, it was about what *is* happening. Uh oh, here I go... I'll stop myself, and give you a last sentence on this one. Can is so much bigger because it was the operative word... without CAN this whole campaign would have been nothing. Yes, we CAN!

Sooo, the next few pictures was a lead in to my video, which you cant see :(. But the photos are basically a series of still images from the film with a layover of the last frame. It was to get people to wonder what the fuck was going on in the other room with the music in it. The film is called "Burial" by the way. This series is called "Grave", but not the english version. Most of my pieces are named after musical terms. Grave meaning deep, with melencholy and emotion. Burial was after the artist though.

And here's my painting / more classical art section! The first piece is called Fuoco. In musical terms that means with fire, passion. It was inspired by Jackson Pollock, the famous splatter painter. Actually I did it before I even knew who he was, but we had to use artists as research in our workbook so thats what I said :P For this one I really just got all emotional and pissed and shite and had wanted to throw paint at the canvas for a long time, so I did it. It was my "fire" that caused the piece. And these pictures are crap, which is disappointing.

This one's called Canon. Musically that's a song with a section that's repeated throughout the entire song. This fits that because it's got the lyrics to several songs that inspired other pieces in the exhibition written around it. It was originally inspired by Blood Bank by Bon Iver, thus the heart. Not a chicken, contrary to popular belief. Btw it's a table, not just a circle.

This one displays my crappy sculpting skills quite well! It's called Aperture, a split or cut in the orchestra. You might see that right off the bat, it's a slit wrist. This shows how music flows through all of our veins. Starts out red, just like anyones, but goes in all different directions and is just as beautiful. It's something that comes from deep within us all. The feeling anyway, not necessarily making it. But you bob your heads to songs, tap your foot with the beat. It's not possible not to. Lovely when it spills, isn't it?

Here we have Andante. That means quickly. This was done awefully quickly. I wanted to splatter again, cause it was really fun. I got my hands all painty and flicked it all over, it was awesome, 'cept now I think I have arthritis. This one's basically a statement on the difference between the fore and background of music making. You have your concerts, your cd's, your mp3's, but that's only part of it. What goes on in the background of the music is just as colorful if not more so. Each piece of music that goes together is beautiful, and that needed to be shown.

And here's accidental! Both literally and musically. It wasn't supposed to be in the exhibition, and it wasn't supposed to be art! But it was so pretty I didn't want to throw it away, even though it was just the stencil for Andante. But that proves my point, doesn't it? Both sides *are* just as beautiful.

Ooooh more ukuleles! This one was part on purpose, part accident. A ukulele broke in the kiln. So I worked with it. Three broken, three whole. Representative of music and what goes into pop music and what goes behind. The three that are whole are painted in primary colors, showing the "primary music" like rihanna, justin timberlake, all of that. Only if you're a primary color are you considered a whole musician. The broken ones are the mixed colors. They represent all of the other musicians who aren't considered whole just because they don't sound exactly the same as the others. But hey, they're just as good, right?

Here's one more, this one's called Dolce. What a crappy picture! But this is the only one I have. It looked better in the exhibition. I had a real flower in it instead of this crud. It's inspired by Irish culture. They're known both for their music and their land. I combined them into one. It's a morph of a wire guitar into a flower, showing how they go hand in hand.

So I have three other pieces, but I kind of don't feel like putting them on here. One is a video, and it goes on the same lines as the other one. The other two are ... well one was a quick class project and it's kinda meh, I threw it in at the last second. And the other one is kind of embarassing. People say they like it but I really don't know. It's really really modern artish, so I don't want to make a fool of myself more than I already have.

For those of you who kept telling me to post this, here you have it! Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed it! What a rewarding experience. Gahh I'm still so happy. No words for how awesome it was to have my own art exhibition, that people came to and liked my stuff... ah. Bed time!

Very Controvercial: How do you tell a small child will be gay?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA I was SO gay. I am still, but damn I was awesome.

Many children like many different things. For example, lots of five year old girls like horses, or dolls, or princess movies.

What did I like when I was five? Well...



(In case you didn't notice, translation at bottom of picture)

Look what I did

Spinnin' it up. Have you ever wanted to read a blog, but you've equally wanted to watch a video? Well, I've got just the thing. Read my blog on video!

Anyone who speaks German, please watch this purely for the music guy. It's painful.

So here it goes!