Wow. Does anyone ever have those moments where they realize that nothing is wrong? Where they realize how lucky they are and how stupid it is for them to not be self confident or happy for who they are? Did it ever occur to anyone that they are absolutely perfect?
No, I’m not being all “head-up” or self righteous. The last thing that I want to present is that I’m some bitchy teenager who thinks too much of themselves. That’s not the way I’m talking now at all.
As you may know, I’ve been having a pretty bad week. I’ve been feeling extremely bad about myself all of the way from how stupid and fat I am to how I’m too old to change and that I’ll never find the “right” person. And I’m not even PMSing!
So, tonight, sitting here once again at my computer, I realized how wrong I am. I realized that… well, here: This is my motivational speech.
1. You’re not stupid. Would you look at yourself?!?! You just passed your IGCSE very well! Some people in your class didn’t even get their certificate! You’re sitting here, accidentally writing 1473 words on a history essay, and you’re calling yourself stupid?! Why?! 2. You are NOT fat! Honey, have you looked in the mirror lately? You are NOT fat! Next time you see your reflection, look not at the stretch marks, but at what created them: HIPS! Beautiful hips! The kind of curves any woman would die to have and any man would kill for! It’s unfortunate, though. No man will ever get anything this nice. How can you call yourself fat!?! Your shirt doesn’t parachute out because of your stomach, it’s because of your boobs! Just because you can’t see down past the curve, doesn’t mean that’s all there is. Stop obsessing with the size of your legs. Again, they’re curves! Pixie-stick legs aren’t realistic! If you’re going to be a woman, go full out! Look at yourself sweetie! You’re gorgeous!
3. I may have no real friends, but isn’t that better than having fake ones? If someone doesn’t want to be my friend because I won’t go out and party on a Saturday night, then so be it! Let them go get drunk and lose their senses. You just stay home all cozy listening to your classical music with your heater up to 4/5. And don’t be afraid to eat that chocolate; remember you’re not fat! Enjoy playing the guitar alone in your room, even though you suck. It’s about the fun! Decorate the xmas tree with your family. This is your last Christmas as a child. Make it count! Friendly acquaintances may be there on a day to day basis, but who’s going to be there for always? That’s right. Family. Don’t forget that. 4. You are NOT too old to change! You’re only 17!!! Just because you don’t know for sure the way you want to spend the rest of your life right now, doesn’t mean that you’re going to be a complete failure! Give yourself a few years! It’ll come!
5. Don’t be so afraid to be yourself, god damn it! Just be happy being who you are! So what if you pick the ham out of toasted ham and cheese sandwiches? So what if you enjoy “Minuet From ‘Water Music’” just as much as you like “Umbrella”? Go ahead! Hate Dave Mathews and Finger 11! Love Jesse McCartney and Kelly Clarkson! Don’t be afraid to admit that you like watching Barbie movies with your sister, and that you especially love it when the Barbie’s sing! Admit that you love the Spanish language. Don’t be so afraid to ask your friend how to say things so often. You’re teaching yourself a valuable thing, and most of all you love it. It’s fun. Don’t stop. It might pay off some day. If not, it’s always nice to be able to whisper sweet nothings in Spanish into your girlfriends’ ear. That’s payment enough, no? So what if you like science a lot, but know nothing about it? Theorize, darling, theorize. Make assumptions about the universe until you’re blue in the face. Just enjoy it. Chances are, you’ll find someone else who enjoys the same things.6. You are NOT ugly! How can you call yourself ugly? So what if you have a zit on your chin? It’s not the end of the world. Don’t think that the smooth, soft skin is going to be there forever, because it won’t. Soon enough it’ll start to wrinkle and you’ll be begging for the days when all you had to worry about was a stupid pimple. Stop complaining that your bangs don’t act the way you’d like them to! That long dark brown hair isn’t going to last forever, sweetheart. Enjoy it while it’s here. It’ll be gray before you know it. And those big brown eyes? How can you call that ugly!? Who cares if they’re shaded by ungodly eyebrows that desperately yearn for waxing? It’ll happen! Just as soon as you find a fucking waxer in Germany! Just because your thumb is a little shorter than everyone else’s, don’t think it’s stupid. It’s cute! Yeah! Take that and run with it! And stop complaining that you have sideburns. You don’t have sideburns! Just because your hair is darker than everyone else’s in your class (apart from the Indian) doesn’t mean it’s wrong! You got that from your mamma, and guess where she got it?! Southern SPAIN! That’s right! You’re favorite country in the world! Be proud of that!
7. The right girl WILL come! Just wait! You don’t need to find her right now! Sooner or later, when the time is right, you’ll find someone who thinks you’re just as cool as you think she is. Then, even if you’re arguing over who does the laundry or who cleans the kitchen, at least you’ll be arguing with each other! Enjoy being single. It’s much less stressful than being with someone. 8. Last of all, just be HAPPY! You’ll work it out! 5 billion tons of homework this week will be over by next week. Hey, you even have Christmas break coming up! You know what? Take tomorrow off. Get your shit together, relax, and have a nice day. The only thing holding you back, is you. There’s a world out there, and you deserve a place in it just as much as anyone else does. But don’t forget, every one else deserves a place in it just as much as you do. Don’t be so negative. Have sympathy. Hug somebody. Be patient, and, for once, let time chase you.
Anyway, that was my little inner-monologue. I just wanted to share it. I felt like it was better out than in, and hey! It might help somebody else who is feeling as shitty as I was! Even though it was from: me to: me, I thought you all might like to read it. Well then! Wasn’t that interesting?!
Xxx,
E
