Emmy's World

Dear 2011

2010-12-30T10:10:00.000-08:00

I welcome you with my favorite things of 2010

Wallis Bird - For making amazing music, and being so irresistibly herself.

Maxine Peake - For playing Anne Lister so amazingly, and looking a bit like an older Wallis Bird.

Christine Bottomley - For being so damned cute.

Unbearable Lightness by Portia Degeneres - For making me realize that my teenage years were not spent alone, making me want to build enough courage to look the lady at the bookstore in the eye and order a f.u.b.u. lesbian book, and for making me confront myself.

Tinky - For loving me no matter what, and showing me that I can love something no matter what.

P!nk's Raise Your Glass music video - For making me realize that being a vegetarian would be wrong, in all the right ways.

Pink - Raise Your Glass - Official Music Video Vidéo MrMusic sélectionnée dans

Musique

My Heating Blanket - For being warm and fuzzy, because Germany froze over.

KLM - For getting me out of that hell hole.

WHAT NOW!!

2010-10-26T11:46:00.001-07:00

Oh snap, somebody commented on my blog again for the first time in half a century... and she's probably also the only one reading this (Hi M), so yeah, as a reward I'll blog again.

I think I'm gonna do that NaNoWriMo thing again, you know, where you write 50,000 words in a month and get a nifty pdf in return. Only this time I acknowledge that I'm probably going to fail, but why not give it a go?

I want to see True Grit, the 2010 version, if only for the soundtrack. Sorry for those of you who can't stand it, but it makes me feel at home. No, they don't really still play that cripe in the US, unless you're in certain sections (but if you find yourself there, get away... quickly). In fact, I don't feel particularly at home in the US at all anyway, but mama played old timey music like that. TRAILER!

If you're wondering, the singers are the Peasall Sisters. Same girls who, when they were little, sang for the O Brother, Where Art Thou soundtrack.

Without further ado, here's some shart I drew.

Not gonna lie, I totally used a projector to get the outlines right, but I did the charcoal work myself... that's got to count for something, right? :D

Some Things That Are Wonderful

2010-08-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

1. Awake My Soul - Mumford & Sons

2. The Irish Pub. I spent the evening listening to great music, talking to a lady named Doris, and flirting with a 75 year old ex senator. How charming :D

3. Rambling Man - Laura Marling

4. Music. I'm in one great band, and building another. And we've got a gig anytime we want it at the pub. And I'm starting to see that, although it's difficult, it's not that hard. Not the battle I was expecting.

5. Junebug - Robert Francis

6. My cousin is having a baby like... right now. Welcome to the world, Adele :)

My Top 10's

2010-05-19T10:42:00.000-07:00

Just for the hell of it. Not necessarily "hottest", but most attractive people ever.

Boys -

10. In Memory, Heath Ledger

9. Jesse Williams

8. Joseph Gordon Levitt

7. Robert Francis

... I can't think of any more, so

Girls -

10. Wallis Bird

Okay, so not the "hottest" person ever, but definitely one of the hottest attitudes ever.

9. Maxine Peake

Looks like Wallis Bird, only a bit older. And made The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister one of my new favorite movies.

8. Celia Freijeiro

Why not

7. Monica Keena

Hey, it's that adorable girl from Grey's Anatomy! The one who had the pole stuck through her and died!

6. Missy Higgins

5. Oceana

Singer. Hot singer. I don't care if she invents uses for words like "inseparably" in Cry Cry.

4. Rosario Dawson

No comments needed from here on out pretty much

3. Lisa Stelly (Last of The American Girls / 21 Guns - Green day videos)

2. Laetitia Casta (Te Amo - Rihanna video) ... (or Laetitia's stomach... click on it for the full picture)

1. Lisa Ray

Offensivo

2010-04-01T19:23:00.000-07:00

Dad: Ellen DeGeneres is dead!
Stepsis: Huh? What? How?
Dad: Yeah, they don't how it happened, but they found her face down in Ricki Lake
Stepsis: ... I don't get it
Me: *facepalm*

Bad Jokes

2010-03-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

Stepbro: Why are chainsaws racist?
Me: .. huh?
Him: cause they say RUUNNNNnigganigganigganigga
Him: What do you call black guys running down a hill?
Me: ... a mudslide.
Him: yep. What do you call a bunch of white guys running down a hill?
Me: dunno
Him: an avalanche. What do you call a bunch of black guys falling from the sky?
Me: uhhh dunno
Him: ash.
Me: nah, that's more for jews
Him: What?
Me: you know, the holocaust
Him: oh.
Stepsis: THAT is WRONG!
Me: but funny.
Him: what do you call a white guy falling out of the sky?
Me: snow?
Him: Jesus.
Me: what do you call a white guy rapping?
Him: a black guy
Dad: vanilla ice
Me: no, a failure.
Stepsis: SERIOUSLY guys!
Me: they're not bad if you don't mean to hurt anyone
Him: yeah, they're funny. I don't know any ones about mexicans
Me: jeez there have to be a tonne
Him: So blacks are to rapping as mexicans are to running
Me: no, that's more of a black guy thing
Him: okay, so as mexicans are to fences.

---

Beautiful conversation, no? But seriously, nobody take offense, we don't mean anything. And I think we got a nice mix of races in there. Pretty much covered everybody but Asians.

Driving

2010-03-19T12:28:00.001-07:00

Me: Is it possible to turn the car on if it turns off, like on the highway, without stopping?
Dad: Uhh yeah

- a few seconds later while I'm not really paying attention to anything but the road -

Dad: *reaches over and turns car off*
Me: WHAT THE HELL?!!?!
Dad: turn it back on
Me: *turns key* what the hell was that?!
Dad: Just showing you
Me: I wasn't aware this was a suicide mission

It's dead

2009-12-15T14:54:00.000-08:00

I'm afraid the blogoverse is dead. I remember when it was up and jumping, there were lights and people, and now it's just me, tending the lighthouse as always. It's the holidays apparently. I can't really tell other than that things are frozen. Take this for example;

Pretty, right?

And that's what i've got.

2009-10-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

Huh. I haven't posted anything in a while. Is that because there's nothing to post? No. It's 'cause I'm lazy... or the exact opposite... I'm not sure. Jacobs coffee is sparkly. And that's about it. Tatas for now (.)(.)

2009-09-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! Do you ever realize things about your friends that make them 100002039780937289472 times more awesome instantly??? Well I just did! I SO FUCKING LOVE YOU DUDE!!!! Ahhhhhh best person ever!

2009-08-26T02:19:00.000-07:00

Status updates are lovely, aren't they?

Em - wants to become famous, because maybe if she does you'll see her on tv and remember, and get in contact, and then maybe she'll get to see you again.

I'm not always that melodramatic, just circumstantially because I'm leaving and not coming back...

2009-07-03T06:06:00.000-07:00

SO, what's up in the life of mE? Em turned around. Convinient, eh? I thought so.

Two big things:

Ireland looks like it's gonna happen sooner than i thought. I need only about 200 euro more until I can go! woohoo!

I finally found the school I want to go to, New York Film Academy. It looks like a lot of fun. I hope, once i apply, that i get in.

I don't have much to talk about. Nothing seems interesting enough to write about, or I'm just not in the mood to write. that happens a lot lately.

reading: into the wild. that's a good book... too bad it actually happened. cause, i mean, who among us hasn't felt that same feeling? break free from the norm, go test yourself against the wild. what do you think is driving my ireland trip? only i think i have the sense to not die. i know the rules apply to me, and that's one thing he was lacking. he said he wanted to live, but my personal opinion is that if he wanted to live he'd be alive. he'd know what to do to keep himself out of trouble. especially such simple trouble as the trouble that killed him. you can "live" on the edge, and it will, contrary to popular belief, make you feel like a better person. but to live you have to stay alive, and you should really know your limits. Nevertheless, i admire his get out and go attitude. i do think we should all measure ourselves once in our lives. but, we dont all have to measure the same way.

i smell like small child b.o. ... yack. that's what happens when a herd of children, ages 7, 5, 4, and 2 all make camp at your house. but the two year old is soooooo cute. at first we didn't know any of their names (cept the 7 year old, she's ours), and we heard the dad calling the 4 year old whose name we couldnt figure out... sounded like biscuit, so thats what we call him now. then there's rian or ryan whatever the two year old, but we didn't know his name until recently either. he once had to use our toilet and ... he's two, so he needed help getting up, and while on the pot he said "auch ah-ah" cause apparently two year olds cant say caca that well, and took a big dump, so we call him captain ah-ah. he came running through the house completely naked yesterday, tiny dingle hanging out, and completely happy!

my life is warm right now. sofa king hot out. found two friends i knew forever ago through myspace, it's nice to have somebody who knew me when i was little back. life is good.

It's Official

2009-06-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

I've found my story. I have honestly never enjoyed writing more.

2009-06-10T13:00:00.001-07:00

Oh, one more thing

I love you too

2009-06-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

Co-Co would dream of dancing at midnight beneath the stars, cause when it comes to dancing Co-Co's a star!

I'm back, fyi. Graduated, visited extensively with family, said goodbye to friends, and jumped into the future. I wish I knew if I was going to be here for a while longer or not, cause being so unstable is quite prohibitive of applying for jobs. I feel like I'd have a boost of confidence if I knew what the rest of this year looked like. Hell, I'd rest easier if I knew what the rest of the week had in mind... hold up, no I wouldn't. I don't want to know the future.

One thing I'd like to know though... Slow Wind by Akon, R. Kelly, and Sean Paul... who told them lyrics like "i feel like a butcher, just wanna chop you up and cut you" or "beautiful skin, the color of mustard" or "ride you like a range rover" were romantic or sexually enticing? From the sounds of it he wants a hot dog. And what exactly is he doing to his Range Rover? It's a car for gawds sake, we don't fuck those.

I miss several people. And they're all sitting right in front of me. Isn't that just the way?

I've written 5 songs in the past week. Recorded / finished 3 of them. I'm always playing an instrument but it's usually somebody else's song. This flow of original music is weird for me. But I did find my place in song writing. I've always tried mainstream stuff, you know, with lyrics and a beat. Turns out I'm much more motivated at writing soundtracks. Let's add another tack to the "reasons why I should study film" wall. In other music news, I learned "Hello" by Beyonce on piano. I go into this little zone where I can't pull myself away. I love it too. I close my eyes and everything disappears. It's kind of like the zone I go into running, only this one's deeper.

My beautiful flower Petunia is blooming. Her flowers keep getting bigger. We welcomed a new bud yesterday. Doing quite well. Actually from this angle, in the shadow, she looks ... like a really pretty flower.

Your warm whispers, letting me drown in a pool of you.

Is it bad to love your best friend with all of your heart? And respect the hell out of her best friend? Are four days a long time?

I'm listening to the Backstreet Boys. When I was little I was best friends with my neighbor. We each claimed a backstreet boy. I wanted Bryan, but he was taken so I got stuck with Howie. Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone. Played my part, kept you in the dark... you finish it. My old friend got a scholarship from Fastpitch to go to college. Three weeks ago I would have been jealous. But I'm not. I don't even know her anymore.

Everyone mark their calendars on June 6th, 2009. That was my best day ever. I graduated, all of my friends were there, all of my family was there. They flew across the world, and if they couldn't then they sent a card with the ones who could. I have the sweetest family ever. The best friends... you're never as alone as you think you are.

Hungry Like The Wolf! Doo x 15 !! I'm on the hunt I'm after you

Goodnight.

2009-05-27T11:38:00.000-07:00

Oh, fuck the cosmos! Today is not my fucking day! Here's my ipod shuffle list, for the last few songs:

1. Fugees - Killing Me Softly
2. The Offspring - Want You Bad
3. Incubus - The Warmth
4. Ryan Cabrerra - True
5. Animotion - Obsession
6. Susanna And The Magical Orchestra - Believer
7. Katy Perry - Thinking Of You

I have nearly 4000 songs. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I am talking about a girl.

Five Things

2009-05-27T10:22:00.000-07:00

Here are five things I feel today:

1. Happy
2. Like a dumbass
3. Slightly confused
4. Tired
5. Fidgety

no drugs involved

2009-05-24T08:45:00.001-07:00

Let me start by saying I don't hate all men. Just a lot of them it seems. Or... one, a lot.

What is it with guys that they can't take a hint? Why must they persist in thinking that the way to pick up a girl (as in gf, not fuck buddy) is to hold them tightly against your body as you dirty dance them and don't let them go? Okay, so they're... there. But that doesn't mean she likes it. Why doesn't a simple "stop" work? Or how about "no"? Is his head to fucking thick? Does he not hear it over the roaring drugs and alcohol? Oh that's right, we're supposed to claim you don't do drugs anymore, because you're so "upstanding" and "sincere". Really, if you show up so fucked up to begin with, you should realize we know. Also, kissing me on the cheek and saying "nothing personal" while dragging her away is NOT going to make her want you any more than she does. Which, she doesn't, so just get the fuck over it. Stop pulling her away from people, trying to drag her behind buildings, trying to make out with her while she's leaning on my lap. CLEARLY she doesn't want that. CLEARLY she doesn't like you. So why don't you go fuck yourself, because from the looks of you that's all you can get. Skinny, drug ruined, fucktard wanker. Leave. Her. Alone. She's a big girl, she can make her own decisions, and obviously her decision is not you.

I've never felt like hitting someone more in my life. But I have to hold it back, and remember I'm there for her, a shoulder to lean on, not a body guard. He was so fucking wasted that I could have knocked him out with my pinky. And no, putting your forehead on mine and looking into my eyes is NOT going to make me want to 1. kiss you 2. fuck you 3. dance you 4. have anything to do with you. So how about you bugger off and for all I care die. Sad that you don't realize how much of a jizwad you are.

Signed,
A protective friend... and not your friend either.

Languages

2009-05-13T08:05:00.000-07:00

Can I just take a sec to say how much I love speaking? Gem knows. But what I mean today is that I find it absolutely thrilling that I can listen to someone sing a song, and sing right along with them, making all of the same exact noises with the same exact techniques as them and everyone else who falls under the category of English. You don't ever really understand how hard that is until you start learning another language.

Speaking of that, I remember songs that were on when I first moved here. I had no fucking clue what they meant. Not a clue. Gradually the understanding got better, so I could pick out words. Then I don't know what happened, but I didn't try as much to learn the language, I just did what I did as far as I could. Then a couple weeks ago, I picked up my old ipod and on came that song I tried so hard to learn. And guess what? I understood every word, first try. Funny eh! (Monni, le German one, the song was Für Immer Und Dich incase you felt like knowing)

In conclusion! I was just feeling especially good about a language, any language, being a given for me. I can pull English out of my ass like there's no tomorrow bitchez!

Automated Teller Machine

2009-05-12T14:09:00.000-07:00

Number one chat phrase that bothers me: ATM. It's taken people! Here's an example; the I Have No Idea What's Going On ATM

For those of you who use it, the only reason it bothers me is that I never think "at the moment". I always picture one of those things ^. But I do use it. It's not annoying like "ilu" is annoying. FUCK I hate that acronym. I love you is an important phrase, if you're gonna say it SAY IT. CHRIST people!

Okay okay okay

2009-04-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

So for those of you who were interested in seeing how my art exhibition went... yeah. It went really well. Such an awesome opportunity. I did my vewy vewy best, and people noticed. As for the artwork, my video was the spice and life of the exhibition, and my full heart was in it... a view through my eyes, but unfortunately I can't show you. It's not that I'm being *increadibly* selfish, but this is something I worked for two years on, put my entire being into, and is such a huge insight into everything that I am on the inside... how I see the world, that I couldn't just throw it up on youtube for a bunch of shitheads to comment on, and people to save with keepvid and let it collect dust. It's for sale for 8 Euro, but I doubt you'll go get your wallets (as a matter of fact there are a few of you who I'd feel bad *selling* something to), so I've got pictures of the rest of the exhibition! And somebody comment or something and tell me if you want me to put a scene from the movie on or something, I feel really bad not showing you. Or or or friend me on youtube and I'll make you able to view it ... or whatever, I'm going overboard, just look at my shite!

Quickly, my theme for the entire exhibition was "Musical Emotion", basically about how the emotion that music causes in people is expressed and how music runs through us all. Art is so visual, and not often associated with anything like music, but both go hand in hand. It's an emotion coming out. I wanted to connect the two. So the idea over all was to get the viewer to hear the song that inspired each painting while they look at it. Figuratively though, I didn't have mp3 players everywhere. They could hear their own songs too.

First's first. Here's one of the biggest pains in the asses that I've ever had in my entire constructive life. The biggest, most time consuming (other than film), most difficlut, but also most worth it piece. This is a statement on the Obama election process. There are three layers... you probably can't see the first at this distance, so here, I'll show you.

So the background of each letter, thats right, is a bunch of tiny obama photos. The second layer is his "Yes We Can" speech. You know... well if you don't, read from left to right just like a book those letters down there VVV

And of course the speech forms the letters YES WE CAN. Basically, without me going into emotional outbursts again, each layer means something. Background means obama's campaign. The whole thing that ran without a hitch, and just his words constantly in the air. The speech is what Americans needed to hear. It's what we've wanted, what we've searched for, what we were waiting for for so long. The last layer means two things. Yes we can, you can hear those words "ringing from coast to coast" now. Not only in america, but in the world. I hear it all the time, and foreigners seem to have more fun throwing it around than we do. Yes, we can elect a black man. Yes we can do so many things nobody thought we could, and fact is, it's already happened. This election wasn't about what will happen, it was about what *is* happening. Uh oh, here I go... I'll stop myself, and give you a last sentence on this one. Can is so much bigger because it was the operative word... without CAN this whole campaign would have been nothing. Yes, we CAN!

Sooo, the next few pictures was a lead in to my video, which you cant see :(. But the photos are basically a series of still images from the film with a layover of the last frame. It was to get people to wonder what the fuck was going on in the other room with the music in it. The film is called "Burial" by the way. This series is called "Grave", but not the english version. Most of my pieces are named after musical terms. Grave meaning deep, with melencholy and emotion. Burial was after the artist though.

And here's my painting / more classical art section! The first piece is called Fuoco. In musical terms that means with fire, passion. It was inspired by Jackson Pollock, the famous splatter painter. Actually I did it before I even knew who he was, but we had to use artists as research in our workbook so thats what I said :P For this one I really just got all emotional and pissed and shite and had wanted to throw paint at the canvas for a long time, so I did it. It was my "fire" that caused the piece. And these pictures are crap, which is disappointing.

This one's called Canon. Musically that's a song with a section that's repeated throughout the entire song. This fits that because it's got the lyrics to several songs that inspired other pieces in the exhibition written around it. It was originally inspired by Blood Bank by Bon Iver, thus the heart. Not a chicken, contrary to popular belief. Btw it's a table, not just a circle.

This one displays my crappy sculpting skills quite well! It's called Aperture, a split or cut in the orchestra. You might see that right off the bat, it's a slit wrist. This shows how music flows through all of our veins. Starts out red, just like anyones, but goes in all different directions and is just as beautiful. It's something that comes from deep within us all. The feeling anyway, not necessarily making it. But you bob your heads to songs, tap your foot with the beat. It's not possible not to. Lovely when it spills, isn't it?

Here we have Andante. That means quickly. This was done awefully quickly. I wanted to splatter again, cause it was really fun. I got my hands all painty and flicked it all over, it was awesome, 'cept now I think I have arthritis. This one's basically a statement on the difference between the fore and background of music making. You have your concerts, your cd's, your mp3's, but that's only part of it. What goes on in the background of the music is just as colorful if not more so. Each piece of music that goes together is beautiful, and that needed to be shown.

And here's accidental! Both literally and musically. It wasn't supposed to be in the exhibition, and it wasn't supposed to be art! But it was so pretty I didn't want to throw it away, even though it was just the stencil for Andante. But that proves my point, doesn't it? Both sides *are* just as beautiful.

Ooooh more ukuleles! This one was part on purpose, part accident. A ukulele broke in the kiln. So I worked with it. Three broken, three whole. Representative of music and what goes into pop music and what goes behind. The three that are whole are painted in primary colors, showing the "primary music" like rihanna, justin timberlake, all of that. Only if you're a primary color are you considered a whole musician. The broken ones are the mixed colors. They represent all of the other musicians who aren't considered whole just because they don't sound exactly the same as the others. But hey, they're just as good, right?

Here's one more, this one's called Dolce. What a crappy picture! But this is the only one I have. It looked better in the exhibition. I had a real flower in it instead of this crud. It's inspired by Irish culture. They're known both for their music and their land. I combined them into one. It's a morph of a wire guitar into a flower, showing how they go hand in hand.

So I have three other pieces, but I kind of don't feel like putting them on here. One is a video, and it goes on the same lines as the other one. The other two are ... well one was a quick class project and it's kinda meh, I threw it in at the last second. And the other one is kind of embarassing. People say they like it but I really don't know. It's really really modern artish, so I don't want to make a fool of myself more than I already have.

For those of you who kept telling me to post this, here you have it! Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed it! What a rewarding experience. Gahh I'm still so happy. No words for how awesome it was to have my own art exhibition, that people came to and liked my stuff... ah. Bed time!

Very Controvercial: How do you tell a small child will be gay?

2009-04-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA I was SO gay. I am still, but damn I was awesome.

Many children like many different things. For example, lots of five year old girls like horses, or dolls, or princess movies.

What did I like when I was five? Well...

(In case you didn't notice, translation at bottom of picture)

Look what I did

2009-04-11T05:17:00.000-07:00

Spinnin' it up. Have you ever wanted to read a blog, but you've equally wanted to watch a video? Well, I've got just the thing. Read my blog on video!

Anyone who speaks German, please watch this purely for the music guy. It's painful.

So here it goes!

Hey Guys!!!! Come Check This Out!

2009-04-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

Yo Y'all! So you may or may not know about Me 'n Al's music blog. Yeah the one that crashed a bit because of school and shiz. Well it's back now, with power. So come check it out, there's some pretty exciting stuff coming up!

Click Here If You Rock

Click Here If You Suck

That Thing Al Did

2009-04-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

Al did this. And it looked fun, so here goes

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say To Ten Different People *no names*:

1. You're really really pretty and I wish you'd stop calling yourself fat, because I hate it when girls call themselves fat, especially when the worst thing they could realistically say is that they're one of the most beautiful things that at least one person has ever seen, if not more
2. I like girllllls
3. When you wear those pants I can see so far up your vagina I'm practically your gynie
4. Really I only wanted one book, I wish you'd be quiet
5. You know that thing you do when you yawn? like... wiggle your tongue around and make weird noises? Yeah that. Stop that. Please.
6. You keep asking why I don't like bunnies, and i wont ever answer, so here it goes. I watched a documentary once and the reason I don't like them is CAUSE THEY FUCK SO MUCH! ICKY MAN BUNNY PENIS HAS FOREVER SCARRED ME!
7. No, I really *don't* care about your class, please stop asking me
8. You are honestly one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever met
9. Do you have anything to talk about other than your grades or how much all of the teachers like you or how much your parents push you or how many uni acceptances you've got back?
10. You keep them silent, but sound isn't the only thing a fart does. Maybe class isn't the best place.

Nine Things About Myself:

1. I get hungry late at night, but hardly ever during the day
2. I love my life a lot right now, mostly because it scares the shit out of me
3. I always break the high E string on my guitar, or the G string, but hardly ever any others.
4. I love love love anything that is physical and makes me sweat, ie jogging on a treadmill with the window open, my eyes closed, and my ipod on high, because I forget everything else
5. My worst nightmare is being buried alive
6. I suck at shaving my legs
7. I love being one on one with people, because thats when they really show the inside. A lot of people are quite beautiful if you listen.
8. I like lists
9. I can't picture myself living steadily in one place ever again. I was attached, but I don't know what happened.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:

1. Be spunky!
2. Like to go as much as I do
3. Huggles. (hugs + cuddles)
4. Realize that I will like whatever music you show me, so don't be embarassed
5. Let me surprise you
6. Feed me :D
7. Be funny and not too uptight about humor
8. Don't be a n00b, wisdom is wonderful, I'm not smarter than you so please entertain me with your brain

Seven Things That Cross My Mind A Lot:

1. Where to hide a body
2. If that noise was a spider
3. music
4. Is everyone okay?
5. Am I safe?
6. girl...s
7. food

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:

1. Brush My teeth
2. Go online
3. Listen to music
4. Remember I have homework / do it
5. Remeber I forgot to take iron and go all the way downstairs to take it
6. Give everybody hugs

Five People Who Mean A Lot

1. My Sissy
2. Mom
3. Any one of my friends
4. Grandma
5. Dad

Four Things I'm Wearing Right Now

(Not fair! I'm only wearing four things!)

1. Yellow shirt
2. Blue boxers that have a smiley on the front
3. White Bra
4. Pink panties

Three Songs I Listen To Often

1. Oklahoma - Wallis Bird
2. Re:Stacks - Bon Iver
3. Poker Face - Lady Gaga :P

Two Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. Walk a very very long way
2. Fall in love with someone who loves me, of course

One Confession

1. I can't get over the feeling that there just isn't anyone out there for me

YAY that was fun. I smell like chlorine and it's bed time. Woot.

Guilty Pleasures

2009-04-07T10:27:00.001-07:00

Define: Gay?

Yet another thing I have to get off of my chest. Here are my top ten guilty man crushes. Warning: Not for the faint of heart, or weak in the stomach

10. Justin Vernon

Rugged and handsom, I dont know either, so don't ask, he's only number 10.

9. Joseph Gordon Levitt

Third Rock anybody? Yeh didn't watch it much, but boy did this one grow up nice.

8. Ryan Gosling

Broke up with Rachel Mcadams? Oh no... ;)

7. Heath Ledger

Sucks about that. But he really was nice to look at. And good news for anyone who has ever had a chat with me! You're only 2 steps away from having had a chat with the man himself. 3 if you're counting him as a step.

6. Jake Gyllenhaal

Obvious follow up from Heath. The reason they invented the term BBILF. Bubble Boy I Look (at) Fixedly of course.

5. Johnny Depp

Duh.

4. That hot guy from Kings of Leon

Name? Dunno. Don't care either. What's in a name...

3. This is gay

2. I'm gay

1. Jesse McCartney

He. Is. Cute. I'd marry him if I didn't have to touch him. Or talk to him. Maybe I'd be better off getting a poster. Yeah probably.

Oh my gawd I have a type!

So ladies and gentlelesbians, this is as straight as it gets. Take a good look. TGIT. That's tit with a G in it.

I just need to get this out of my system

2009-04-04T23:27:00.001-07:00

She's so cute.

She's like.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah cute.

She's like spunky happy bouncy squishy awesome cute.

She says I'm cute.

She SO knows I like her, I mean how could she not?

I love how she keeps trying to get me alone but the others can't take a hint.

But mostly I love it when we *are* alone.

Or at least alone enough for me to make her laugh without thinking twice.

And her to tell me how cute I am.

I'm gonna go faint now, kay?

Trouble Keeping Secrets

2009-04-02T01:02:00.001-07:00

So as you may know, I've officially recieved my wish. I've been rejected from University. If you don't know that, scroll down. But the trouble I'm having now is not what to do next, it's how not to tell you what I'm doing next.

I've only told one person and she looked at me like I was crazy.

But for quite some time now there's been something that means something to me. I can't tell you what it is exactly because if I do it will only give everyone time to tell me I can't do it, and what a fool I am. Hell, I am a fool but I'll be damned if I can't do it. Mama says I'm a fighter... She also taught me never to contradict my elders. It'd be rude if I proved her wrong now, wouldn't it?

R.E.J.E.C.T., Find out what it means to me

2009-03-28T08:05:00.001-07:00

Sometimes rejection can feel oh so sweet. Today I went out to get my graduation dress in the city. I had a nice lunch with my parents at some American themed restaurant, and came home. And there it was. On the floor.

For months now I've been so worried about the next step. After school, then what? I DONT want to go to college under any circumstances, the only problem was my dad and his family. "Thats the next step, if you dont go now you wont go at all" or "you'll never get a decent job without it". But you know what? Although that may or may not be true, its for sure now.

I

Got

Rejected.

So suck it, basically. It feels so good to NOT have that commitment looming in the distance, I DONT have to lie to my family and tell them that I got rejected cause I really did! Now I just have to figure out how to tell them what I've wanted to do all along. I can not tell you how big of a relief this is. Thank effing gawd.

2009-03-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

Why did my ipod have to pick NOW to shuffle EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SONG that reminds me of my childhood into a mock wake lineup? ... but I can't click skip. : /

2009-03-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

I think I broke my knuckle...

...painting.

I'm so macho

2009-03-18T12:35:00.000-07:00

Ughhhhh FUCK. ME. In the "oh my god what an idiot am i" type of way. GARRRR. I hate girls. I mean i looooooove girls, but i hate that, cause they're like "hi *wink*" and I'm like "heeeeh *faints*". Straight girls too, what the fuck is wrong with me. She's straight in the loud and doubtful way though so I guess thats a step up, right? *sigh* *sings* tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?

...thats her favorite childhood movie.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK somebody SLAP ME! ALKDJFKLDJSFKLDJSF

oh, btw, hi mom! Heh.

Friends

2009-03-16T12:39:00.000-07:00

This one goes out to all my interweb buddies

Gem - Okay, where do I even start with you. You're there through the good, there through the bad, there when I'm an ass, and there when I'm mad. You make me laugh until I cry, you make me write poems, I dont know why. ... STOP RHYMING! Okay, so anyway, you're not only the person who knows the most about me other than me and my mother, you're the person I trust, probably the most, out of any of my friends. Girls may drift in and out,and they're cool, but there is only one word for Gem; awesometasticfabularisticbetterthanchocolatepuddinghotsexylonglostloverallaroundgreatgal.

Sarah - HOLYFUCK I feel like I could write a book about you. Its not necessarily always the words that define how cool you are. Maybe its the fact that we're almost always on the same page, always experiencing the same highs and lows, and we're always there to help each other out. I don't think I can continue without going off into a novel, but I think one thing can be said; sarah, *sings* my life would suck without you. :P

Monni - DUUUUDE! Okay so you hate jake and amir. We've still got spongebob, right! You're like the DJ to the universe, I swear I can not go a single place without hearing a song you've sent me. Its like the world is your mp3 player on shuffle. It's been a while, we should start that up again :P AAAAAAND I talk to you to often to write one of these thingies lol, I'll just email you. :D

Word

2009-03-07T05:03:00.000-08:00

Yo yo yo! I finally got something to update about fo SHIZZLE! Last night me and le band fucking rocked the stage. Or the carpet. It was a more relaxed atmosphere. It was talent night, and lemme tell you, we are like talent saturated sponges. Anyway, amps are fucking heavy but i knew that. Boys are good for something, i didnt know that. I was carying the bass drum up stairs to put it away and some boys were standing in the hall and they asked if i needed help, and i was like no i got it, and then an older man was like "dont ask, go help!" and suddenly the weight of possibly the heaviest instrument we had was lifted away and flown up the stairs with manly grace. Question: WHY the fcukc can boys lift things so much more easily than girls? I'M STRONG TOO!! But the bass drum was so heavy and then one dude just came up and like... it was a fucking feather. WTF.

Moreover, I'd like to say we won. Audience vote anyway. The judges were a bit too conservative, and they voted for ... the beat boxer. But when they asked the audience to scream, we totally won. And in combination with having won, I would not like to claim full credit for our awesomeness, but I think it should be mentioned that me rapping might have had a lot to do with it. My awesomeness... just can't be competed with. Honestly. What can I say? Ice ice baby.

Kay I'm done. :D

Top Ten

2009-03-01T04:11:00.000-08:00

I'm bored, so I'm gonna give you guys my top ten internet things of the week/month/time period

10. Fat Girls Talking Like Skinny Girls Talking Like Fat Girls

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

9. Dog Mesmerized By Cupcakes

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

8. Peanuts

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

7. Obama's Elf

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

6. Classic: The Front Fell Off

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

5. Sign Grind

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

4. Jake And Amir - Glasses

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

3. WTF Blanket

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

2. Stay-At-Home Dad Workout

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

1. Benny Lava <3

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Words

2009-02-23T12:49:00.000-08:00

They don't even begin to describe my love for Will Smith. BOOM

2009-02-21T03:14:00.001-08:00

Y'all have heard about Alfie Patten, right? The 13 year old kid in the UK who supposedly just became a father? Well, I've become shamefully obsessed with the playout of this oddfest because EW GROSS EW has he even started puberty yet?! It all got interesting when two other boys aged 14 and 16 came up saying they were the father. To avoid telling you the story all over again, if you're interested in what all this is, just go click his name. On to what this post is really about!

England, oh darling England, are GCSE's really enough? In combination with children having children, it looks as if children are the ones reporting on it!

So you're saying... Alfie's 15 year old girlfriend... she's 15? DOH

2009-02-19T11:41:00.001-08:00

I wrote a poem for you all, I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

My dear sweet stepfather,
You're a big fat dick,
I'd explain it all to you,
Unfortunately you're quite thick.
You waltz into the house
Like you're the fucking king
You've no clue what's going on
But who cares, you've got the thing!
You act like you're a father
A husband, and a friend
When really everyone else just thinks
You're like a hair on their rear end.
I wish that I could like you
But the problem is, you see,
You're an asshole.

2009-02-14T07:08:00.000-08:00

Happy Vagentines day, queers.

Kartenhaus is my hero

2009-02-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

Woot! Noch mal!!

Oh, and this

2009-02-11T06:23:00.001-08:00

Who needs a highschool diploma...

2009-02-11T04:55:00.000-08:00

...when you can do things like this?!

You've all seen that Obama "Hope" poster, right?

ORANGES!!!!

2009-02-06T10:29:00.000-08:00

OH MY GOD YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Why?

WEEEEEE JUST GOT CLEMENTINE FORRRRRDDDDD!!!!! KLDSFJIJWEOIJRIOUJLKVHC<>XMVNJKSHOWIEFJIOWJ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES

Dreams do come true! DIBS!!!

MINEMINEMINE

This is like... winning the World Cup in lesbiland

i.e. ... she's gay people

2009-02-03T06:54:00.000-08:00

God I love collegehumor. This says "Go Kelka" if you can't read it. To my defense, it's difficult to write on a girl while her boobies are bouncing. :D

2009-01-27T06:14:00.000-08:00

Type your name into Google with the verb that comes after in the question. Answer with your favorites from the first page of google results.

Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
A: "Emmy needs a home" ... was the only one that made a sentence :P

Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
A: "Emmy looks like an old fart" WTF

Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
A: "Emmy says I'm not going to tell anyone to suck it" niice

Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
A: "Emmy wants to avoid her new rodent pals and do normal 10 year old things"

Q:Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
A: "Emmy does not accept reservations" damn right sir, so take a number

Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
A: "Emmy hates fish tacos" ew

Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
A: "Emmy asks her Mummy to make a cake"

Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
A: "Emmy likes to hang out in box like objects" :P

Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
A: "Emmy eats an atomic fireball"

Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
A: "Emmy wears a cozy pink-and-white ensemble with tiny heart-shaped buttons and a pink bow in her soft, micro-rooted brown hair."

Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
A: "Emmy was arrested for shooting Miley Cyrus" YESSS

Q: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google Search.
A. "Emmy loves first timers, but is split on old timers" huh?

that was interesting!

2009-01-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

CTG Time!!!

loveably, mr. F didn't notice... or chose not to participate.

Inauguration for Change

2009-01-20T10:00:00.000-08:00

"Excuse me Mr. D, I won't be at school tomorrow"

"Why, because you're ill?"

"No, because I'm going to watch the inauguration."

"bollocks, there's nothing going on until what, two? Its boring!"

"No it's not! I think it's fascinating! Its not only me"

"So you're telling me that tomorrow, the whole of Americans inside and outside of the country will stand still?"

"...Yes. I am."

And they did.

From California to New York, from Memphis to Seattle, they stood. Still and silent as history took place before their eyes.

I am glad to have been witness to the most historic moment to brush the face of my country this far. I am glad to have sat next to my mother, born in '64 and raised when black people were regarded as less than dirt. I am glad to have sat and next to my baby sister, who didn't understand anything but listened to her mother as she whispered in her ear, "try to remember this... try". As if seeing it through my own eyes was not good enough.

The generation before me cried tears of joy, and rocked back and forth thinking "I wish you were here to see this" about those who have passed. My generation smiled and shouted their happiness from the rooftops saying "look at this! look at what we did!". And the generation after me sat on the floors playing with their toys thinking "when is this over, so I can make noise again?".

For those older than I am, this is paying homage to the way you have raised us. You taught us to release hatred and judge a person "based on the content of their character".

For those growing along side me, this is a high five. We're doing it! Change CAN happen!

And for the little ones on the floor releasing 2 hours of restraint from their tiny systems, keep playing. Nothing is different. Nothing has changed. Everything is alright. I'm so glad you get to grow up in this world.

There is, however, one point I'd like to address that, in the middle of the speech left me verbally disagreeing. Obama said something to the affect of "now freedom and justice are for ALL".

Really?

Me too?

Let's stop marching in parades simply to declare that we exist. To display that we are amongst a range of "normal" people going through daily life as they are. The only way that things are going to change is if we make them change. And the only way we are going to make them change is by uniting not because of our differences, but because of our simmilarities.

We build the hill out of experience, of past, and of people who were here before us. But the only way we will ever reach the top is when we can extend a hand and create a bridge for those that follow to cross. Not by pushing them back and saying "accept me even though I'm different" but by standing from the strength of our own backs and saying "I am the same".

We're moving forward, but a wave can only be made by rain drops when they have formed a sea.

Music!!!

2009-01-11T03:56:00.000-08:00

Awwwww Wallis Bird is growing up <3 she's got a show in the states. I'm so proud of her *squee*

2009-01-05T14:20:00.001-08:00

Irelandblog http://findmyownpath.blogspot.com/ dont get excited, there's not much there yet.

Just Say No...

2009-01-01T14:11:00.000-08:00

...to New Years posts. But in having said that, have I not already failed? Meh.

You know those little popper things you get on new years? The things you pull and a bunch of shit pops out along with your fortune? No, I'm not talking about the rope to stalk market success. This thing:

Yeah, that. So I got one of those, and pulled the thing apart, and everybody got an interesting fortune. The likes of "be ware of dog in standing water" or "silence makes good slepper" spelling and all. But I'd say I was more excited about mine. "Lucky with dames, unlucky with games". Very nice! Things are looking up! Other than that gambling bit...

What have I been doing in the past few days? I'll give you top five.

1. Planning my route to Ireland. I'll be traveling by rail and by sea. It kind of ruins a journey, in the true sense of the word, if you just take the next 20 euro ryan air flight out and land in an hour at "where you're going". I'm talking, adventure!

2. Writing music! What's a holiday without a few songs written. In boredom, or in a creative streak (i've yet to decide which), I've come up with actual material! Now about that record deal...

3. Not homework. I want to, really I do, it's just... oh look a cookie

4. Pretending to apply to university. "No dad, I guess I just didn't make it..."

5. Spending too much time with my sister. I love you but GET OFF! No, really. Two weeks vacation, and we all have to be together? I can see how that might work if people have hobbies, but the hobbies around this household range from sitting in ones room to sitting on ones couch. I'm gonna go for a walk.

And that's that! If by chance you read only my blog and none of the blogs of my links over there >>>, then check this out. Possibly the most hysterical thing I've seen all year. But I guess that isn't saying much... so I'll give it two years.

TTFN

2008-12-25T03:02:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everybody! I got a mandolin!!! FUCKYES! Now it's Ireland for sure!

Oh and for the funny, I was looking for mandolin lessons in my area (apparently there aren't) when I found this! Yes sir, I would love to learn the fagott

2008-12-21T04:22:00.000-08:00

What is it that makes Christmas feel like Christmas? I mean in the loose sense of the word. I'm not Christian... or even religious for that matter. But there is something of a feeling in this season that completes the picture. This time it doesn't seem like it's here.

I love looking back on the way I grew up. It was so wonderful! Every year we'd have christmas celebrations multiple times. There would be christmas at Grandma's on the eve, where the whole family on my dads side would get together at that little house out on Rocky Point. Grandma would have the living room decorated with her little LED tree flashing up a storm, presents piled as far as the eye (at least of a little girl) could see, stockings above the fireplace, and little things to eat where ever there was space to set a tray. We opened all the presents that night, because they were all from family. Plus, being as young as my cousin and I were, there was no waiting. We would run back and forth delivering presents to whoever they belonged to, and then we'd dig into the pile ourselves. Sooner or later, someone would call us to the window and point to the shiniest star in the sky and say "look! it's rudolph already! you guys better head to bed!". So our parents piled us into our cars and took us home.

The night after that we would go have dinner at Gaga's house. This is the first christmas that she hasn't at least been somewhere out there. It's been a year since she died. Funny how quickly time moves. Her house was the best. There wasn't much that I remember in the way of presents, or decorations, but the tree... you've never seen anything like it. 80 years worth of ornaments all clustered on one oversized tree sitting in the middle of the living room. I'd run in and sit by her, or scotty, and we'd play I Spy with decorations. There were the birds, the bulbs, and all other matter of shiny glass figures hanging off the limbs, but there was one thing that was never missing. The pickle. I dont know what it was, but nothing was ever complete without the pickle. We'd have dinner, which I always found extra special because I got to have sparkling cider. I guess everyone else found it special too, because it would disappear as soon as it was opened. I never remember after that. I suppose I fell asleep or something, because I'd always end up back at home before I could think again.

Lately though, at least this year, it doesnt seem so much like christmas. The family has split up and disolved in different directions, whether that be across the country or 6 feet under the ground. The tiny tree doesnt make a dent in the livingroom, nevertheless the pickle hangs. Outside it's just cold. Not festive, or magical, just cold. Even in the eyes of my baby sister it's less than jolly. There has to be something I can do to make this better...

Sometimes I wish I had a big family. When I get older I think I will. Not big as in Duggers big, but two kids at least. I can't have one without the other. Leaving a child to itself in the world is a horrible thing to do. And I don't want children "of my own". I'd like to adopt. Maybe a baby and a teenager. The baby because raising a child is an experience, and the teenager because they deserve a family just as much as a baby does, maybe even more.

My house will be decorated from top to bottom, sparkling and intricate, just like the tree of my great aunt. We'll do something special... bake cookies or make ornaments. There has to be one time of year where you just feel good, right?

sorry for my rant. it was unintended. I promise I'll blog about something interesting next time. TTFN and happy holidays guys!

2008-12-11T13:32:00.001-08:00

For Gem

You're an awesome friend.

2008-12-06T08:42:00.001-08:00

I miss Ian :(

2008-12-05T00:41:00.000-08:00

Time to annoy the fuck out of you with yet another Wallis Bird post!

So, I've secretly been waiting for this to happen for a while now... I'm a nerd, I know, but;

Pathetic? I think not. :P

2008-12-02T11:33:00.000-08:00

Oh CTG... the little things you say to me... (sidenote: it only made me feel like this because my mom is constantly saying she has a crush on me, even though she's engaged to a dude... AAGH)

Things I find hysterical

2008-11-29T02:47:00.000-08:00

This one is disgustingly funny. If you haven't, check out beyonce's video for Single Ladies first... or not, you'll get the point.

Oh life, I love you, it's in my bones. :D

2008-11-26T12:32:00.000-08:00

Seeing Wallis Bird live was nothing short of breathtaking. She is without a doubt THE best live performer I've ever seen, and I've seen many. The smile that was on my face as I stood front and center, (right below her, close enough to reach out and pull her neon green shoe laces out of her pink plastic boots), just wouldn't wipe away.

The energy was just pouring off of the stage. It could have been, though I doubt solely, that it was the last day on her tour. She even said at the start that she was gonna go all out, and from things I've heard from other people I couldn't imagine anything more energetic.

In total she broke TWO guitar strings, fired a pic across the room, nearly cried once, lost her kazoo in an orbit around the mic, spat all over, and then the sweetest thing... I'll give you the setting.

It's the ending of the concert, and she's tuning her guitar for her last song. She's already "exited" and run back on saying "I wanna play more" :P so this is definitely the end. As she's tuning, some dude from the corner yells "BECAUSE OF YOU!" which is a Kelly Clarkson song... wtf dude... but since we're all diehards we knew he meant "All For You", but I guess Wallis didn't (I'd just like to add that she wasn't tuning to All For You, it was going to be You Are Mine, she just got dumped, who sings All For You after they got dumped? Tone deaf. PFF.). She started singing Because of You and ended by saying that song needed to burn. <3. href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_-U3rsBAiwic/SS261dybhzI/AAAAAAAAANM/IUqS_j1QVlY/s1600-h/wallll.jpg">

I'm going on and on, but the point I was trying to make was that there's this part in the song where she goes "and I'm alllllll forrrrrr you-oooooo-ohhhhh-ohhhhhh-ohhhhh-ooooooooo-ohhh ba da da ba (repeat oohs and shite)" and she had us sing that alone, and joined back in. When the song was over, she said how hard it is to end a tour and thanked us a fucking lot. She left, and then everybody started singing that part again, and it was SOOOO CUTE. Since I was standing basically on the stage, I could see the door onto the stage, and when I was watching, she crawled down on the floor so the audience couldn't see her but she could see us, and was smiling the BIGGEST smile I think I've ever seen. It was contageous for those of us who could see :D

But it was sad also, because she came back on and waved to us, and started crying. :( I would have more than gladly hugged her! She is such an awesome artist.

So Here's the video I recorded. Couldn't manage more than one because I wanted to look at her, not my camera. Just a little annotation, when she holds up her fist at the end, she's holding one of the strings she broke. :P anddd you'll get to see kazoo orbit. Has anyone else noticed how big that guy who sings Hey There Delilah's nose is? Fuckin A.

Btw, Christian Vinne is a force all his own. Crazzzzy drummer boy, threatening to rival the energy of Wallis. You'll see what I mean. He sounds like the Mahna Mahna Muppet.

Wallis Bird (from the concert) - Country Bumpkin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErE09JeF08Y

Define: Charisma -

Check out her myspace, she has some new songs on there, both of which I love to death but you could have guessed. http://www.myspace.com/wallisbird One of them is called To My Bones, which she played at the concert. And it sounded better than this, which normally would surprise me, but Wallis is one of those artists that you have to see live to get the whole picture. Maybe because she's real instead of all of these prepackaged poptarts? I think so.

Pretty pretty pretty!

2008-11-21T12:11:00.000-08:00

Dear Tramgirl,

You really should have talked to me, I mean look! Its snowing!

We could be walking hand in hand out there in the winter wonderland! Or maybe we would just sit and watch because of your limp. It'd be difficult to walk through the snow. Then again, I'm pretty sure if we were hand in hand the snow around us would melt to the pavement.

Or we could just wait for those FUCKING OBSESSIVELY CLEAN GERMANS AND THEIR FUCKING SNOW PLOWS!!! WTF?! Who plows fresh snow that just landed?! GAHH. Natural beauty. PFF. You know they were out there with a dumpster a few weeks ago picking up beautiful fall leaves. IDIOTS! What's it gonna do? Make the grass stronger? Whatever. ugh.

Sincerely,
Justneededanexcusetoshowasnowpicture

2008-11-20T00:04:00.000-08:00

Dear TramGirl,

TALK TO MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Sincerely,
Em

2008-11-15T12:51:00.000-08:00

Alright everybody... if you can't handle sugar then I suggest you don't watch. I made this video 'cause I can/ I was bored / for my sissy and I thought I'd share it here! It's aweful happy :) Soundtrack and stuff by moi.

Happy Bee - Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At5Y4JUDjPY

On a lighter note...

2008-11-13T09:02:00.000-08:00

How about more CTG!?! Well shut up cause I'm doin' it anyway

Btw I'd like to mention that all depicted CTG events are real. I don't make this shit up.

Yeah, she actually said "fart"

That "Change" I was talking about?

2008-11-12T11:31:00.001-08:00

Remember what I said? Well if you don't there's something amazingly convenient about blogs... just go read my last post.

Watching things change politically is kind of like watching the tide come in. The closer it gets, the faster it seems. Example: Watch this video. Read the comments (just follow the url dingbats). Tell me you still doubt what is inevitable.

Thanks Julia. It means a lot.

Dear Somebody

2008-11-09T09:41:00.000-08:00

This blog is to a somebody who knows who she is, who just blogged about the passing of prop 8, and overall lack of support for gays in America.

If there is still any doubt in your mind of what America can do, what we can overcome, put it aside. For years it was the African Americans, and now it looks like it's starting to change. Do not think for a second that this will be taken sitting down. Don't doubt for a second that this battle is being fought. It may take years, and it may not be in my lifetime, but the Pledge of Alligence to the United States of America states that liberty and justice are for ALL. It just might take a while for us to make that heard. If there is one thing I've learned in my lifetime, it's that you are who you make yourself. The only problem is that so many gays and lesbians are making themselves based in silence. A very smart man once said that "nothing can stand in the way of millions of voices calling for change". We want change. Now all we need are those voices.

Change will happen. I believe with all of my heart that someday down the road a woman and the love of her life, regardless of gender, will be able to walk down the aisle to holy matrimony. What we suffer now will make it better for those to come, but always keep in mind that "if you step back too far, you aren't fighting at all". Step up. Make your voice heard. You may not be American, but it's not who hears you that matters, it's being heard.

Tell everyone. Talk to your neighbours, your teachers, your friends. Talk to the little girl holding a lemonade stand down the street. Come out on a daily basis, because the more normal it becomes the less hate we as a whole will feel. It isn't gay Americans. It isn't gay Canadians, Russians, Germans, or anything else. It's about people. And it's about those people being willing to make the change, because as fragments representing different nations we are only as strong as the weakest member, but if we are heard in one place, it'll spread.

The reason that an African American man can be elected to be president is simple. Somewhere along the line, the generation before us forgot to pass down the hate. Now it's our turn. To all of the children out there, make sure that they don't use gay as a slur. In fact, the existence of two different sexualities as a linguistic feature separates us more than the actual act.

The only thing we can do is hold our heads high, and make our voices heard. In the stadium that is life, it's the silence of the masses that allows one voice to be heard. Screaming as individuals may mask it, but only chanting as a whole, as one, can the opinion of the figure who happens to have the microphone be overpowered.

I believe in change. I believe in progress. But most importantly I believe in myself, and I believe in you. All of you. Please dont, even for a fraction of a second, forget the power that you as an individual can hold.

As a matter of fact...

2008-11-05T06:27:00.000-08:00

Yes. We can.

In my lifetime... In my MOTHERS life time. In the lifetime of my great grandfather, who frequently uses the word Nigger. We can. And we did.

MY GENERATION! The ones stepping up as the largest voting demographic within the next few years. MINE! US! WE are the ones making a change! WE are the ones stepping up to the political batting box, and we're not only going there as a group, but as a group without hatred, without prejudices, and without the fear of the unknown. Sure, as a majority we all still have things to fix, but look at how far we've come. Presidential Elect, Democrat, and black man.

Baby boomers? You did something right.

There are absolutely no words for how amazed I am. I feel like I can, as an American, not cringe at having to admit it, and hold my head up high.

Electionpost

2008-11-04T17:01:00.001-08:00

I can't fucking sleep. AAAH.

Anyway, for your amusement:

uhh... see anything wrong there? Just me? l...ol?

2008-11-04T08:02:00.000-08:00

So I skipped class today to watch the progression of the US election. This is intense. I went to Subway and Starbucks, one of which is all the way down town, and the other is at this little shopping center about 15 minutes from my house. I hit the downtown first, went rather smoothly but THEN! My subway experience was amazing, in one of those everyday kind of ways.

I walked into Subway... or in front of it cause it was kinda in the middle of the food arena... and these three buffalos were standing there. Mind you it was nine in the morning, it had JUST opened, and the girl working there looked like she'd just gotten out of the shower. I stood behind them, wondering what the heated discussion was about, and when i had finally tuned in, this is what I heard;

Buffalo mom: you don't have EGGS?!!?!
Subway girl: Well no, not yet, we're getting them later today
Buffalo mom: *scoff* then what are we supposed to eat? *turns to daughters*
We'll just have to go to the BAKERY! *stomps off*
Buffalo daughter 1: Excuse me ma'am, this is a sandwich store, right?
Girl: yes, i'm sorry but..
Buff1: and you offer bacon and eggs sandwich on your menu? How can you not have any eggs!? You don't have any eggs? So why is the store open? How can you sell something that isn't offered?
Girl: well i'm sorry, but i can offer you this *expounds*
Buff1: *turns to mom and buffasister* *gives the thumbs up and smug grin* *directs them to sit down at table*

anyway, this subway girl was, by the time i got up there, fumbling in a panic and being generally adorable, so i asked what was up. apparently their toaster was broken so the bread wasn't done yet and they were low on stuff cause it was being sent in later. but they had 2 pieces of full size bread left, so i was like it's all good, and i started to leave, but she was like WAIT! is it okay if you just have half size sandwiches, so i said okay. anyway, here's the list of completely adorable things that happened;

1. first, she made one WHOLE sandwich with the meat for my moms sandwich, and then remembered so she removed everything and started over, saying sorry too many times to count and explaining how confused she was
2. asked if i wanted them toasted, then realized the toaster was off and told me that i'd have to wait a while until i turned it on, and said "i see you already have coffee, so... uh... can i interest you in MORE coffee while you wait?" so i said it's okay i dont need it toasted and she ... pranced* around smiling and tripping over herself and still appologizing
3. put the bacon in the mocrowave from my moms sandwich to cook it *story continued
4. when putting vegetables on my sandwich, asked what i wanted, i said no tomatos, she promptly started putting tomatos on, and i was like uhm no tomatos please? and then she started apologizing again, and further explaining her predicament
5. started to close the sandwiches, and i asked "what's with the bacon?" and she said "i thought you said you *didnt* want me to bake it!" "...it's okay, everything's good" "... OH! bacON! I thought you wanted me to bake it! ughh i'm so sorry" etc
6. Completely forgot about the buffalos sandwiches and just left them sitting there until she'd finished with mine

anyway, those were the highlights, AND i got two euros off. :D maybe i should go to that subway more often.

2008-10-31T09:31:00.000-07:00

Hey people! I haven't blogged in a while.. mostly cause I haven't had anything to blog about. But now I do! Or at least something for you to catch up on.

I went back to school this week. The only thing I can say is IT'S FUCKING COLD! It gets down to 0 degrees now at night, and I want it to snow or else it's not worth it. BRRR!

This week I have several little thingies to put in my blog. First of all, a Brand New CTG!!!! (by the way, all y'all who think I'm just being mean, I actually have permission from her to make a comic of whatever weird things she does. She thinks it's funny too. Aside from the camel toe, chewing with mouth open, speech pattern, and resistance to fuck off, she's a very nice person.)

Yes, that's right. She dressed up. Wand not depicted.

And then there's what happened today. CTG brought candy, along with her fairy costume. I'm not opposed to candy, so it's all good. In one of the candies a tattoo came along. A nice little red and yellow stick on of two butterflies. Cute, right? It was only when my mom brought it up that I realized I'd been walking around all day with a vagina on my arm.

Ignorance is BLISS people!!!

Oh, hey, look what I found! A BONUS CTG episode!!!

... at least her cooter wasn't in my face this time.

Last but not least, and not last either I just thought of something else; a song played by me. I got bored a couple weeks ago so I got my sisters tiny ukulele that I gave her for her last birthday and I started learning to play. It's not too much different from guitar. Anyway, without further ado here is me playing (and screwing up a couple times :P ) the first verse/chorus of Hurt by Johnny Cash, Nine Inch Nails etc etc. Something about the Uke just sucks the depressing right out of that song. lol

And now last is the song of the day! That again I will just suggest you listen to because I'm paranoid.

The Sunshine Song - Wallis Bird

NaNoWriMo

2008-10-26T03:50:00.000-07:00

So it caught on. I like writing! Thanks Al for the intro to NaNoWriMo :)

50,000 words. 30 days. Can I do it?! Check the cute little word counter at the side for progress!

The Circle

2008-10-25T06:40:00.000-07:00

Somebody Bring Me Wine. Because of the stress of last night I think I need it. After being told about Wallis Birds new commercial by Gem the great, I had nothing better to do than check out Wally's website. And OH MY GOD she has a concert next month in Hamburg. That's right folks. Tickets, just sitting there screaming "we're All For You". This discovery caused some interesting Moodsets. It was like midnight, so I had myself Counting To Sleep, so I thought Slow Down, Just Keep Going. I don't usually get to go to concerts because I never have time. This morning I decided I'd had enough. Fuck my schedule. I ran to the bus, kicking the Blossoms In The Street out of my way as I went along. Got to the ticket store, and FINALLY you sneaky ass tickets.... You Are MINE!!! Felt like I was about 6 Foot 8 walking out of that store. Ladies and other ladies, this Country Bumpkin is going to see WALLIS BIRRRRRD!!!!!

FUCK YEAHH!!!!!

On a side note, I found this amusing;

once again, FUCK YEAH!!!!

Awesome song of the day: Oklahoma - Wallis Bird

2008-10-24T13:18:00.001-07:00

WALLIS BIRRRRRD!!!!

Thanks to Gem (THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU) I've found this new Wallis song! She did an advert for The Sun, and is still sounding as cute, fluffy, and bouncy as ever! Only, it gets old. All of the good artists that only you know about, getting famous. *sigh* Wallypie is growing up. Anyway, here's the add! ROCK ON WALLIS!

2008-10-23T16:05:00.001-07:00

Musically speaking, I find it hysterical how things go in circles! Records, cassettes, cd's, you get the picture. Y'all know my girl Papi. Circles are good! Realll good.

When I was a bit younger, radio disney was what me 'n the gang listened to. Don't ask. But out of all of the crap they played on that channel, there is ONE song that I remember. It was shit. I hated the fuck out of it, and thought whoever sang it should jump off a cliff. While youtube link following, guess what I found!

Geek Love - Fan_3

Vomit.

It's interesting, however, what lead me to that. While watching my love Thessaly Lerner (the Ukulady), I saw an interesting link. I recognized the pool as the same one in the Dinah episode of 3Way. Normally I don't like white rappers, but hell, I kinda dig the frizzy hair thing. No excuses for taste but she's kinda cute, other than the poster child for anorexia gyrating in her face for half the video... So with nice lips and the ability to keep a beat,

Girlfriend (I Can) - Fannius III

As you've probably already guessed, ITS THE SAME DAMN PERSON! Only, with the addition of hormones. I'm glad she didn't jump off a cliff! :P

*** side note: no, i don't dig the punk crap... still.

2008-10-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

What the fuck?! *laughs to the point of tears*

Gotta be Mexicans...

2008-10-22T05:10:00.000-07:00

2008-10-20T06:25:00.001-07:00

Today seems like a good day. Random fact: I lovelovelove the smell of the night in Germany between about October - Aprilish. It's very soothing. Kind of like our song of the day!

Bright Eyes makes me happy.

Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life

Also, while perusing random quote sites, I found a rather cheesy quote but it goes with my random fact: "I see more beauty in the dark than on the sunniest day" ~ unknown

There's a dead ladybug on my floor.

2008-10-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

I feel like mixing it up.

How about a quote, a song, and random waffling?! Great idea!

"Don't be dragging your taco all over the place!" ~ My mother

This was, in fact, referencing food.

Song of the day: She Talks To Angels - The Black Crowes

I've forgotten if this was already song of the day, but why not repeat myself! I like it. Not repeating myself, the song... but you probably got that much.

Introducing!!! A new character for my blog. It has been suggested multiple times that I add a segment updating you all on CTG (Camel Toe Girl) because I do love to talk about her oh so much. Caving in, you finally have your wishes. First though, I'd like to clear this up so that EVERYBODY knows for sure who Camel Toe Girl is. The story is as follows;

Once there were two little girls. There names were Em and CTG. Em and CTG were in the same class, only CTG was a new student. There are many many things I could tell you in the middle of this story, but I'll cut to the chase. The way that CTG earned her name was when in English one day, CTG's feet were cold. She sat upon her desk, which happened to be behind the desk of Em. Unfortunately for Em, the heater was next to her and CTG was getting ever closer. Little did Em know that she was about to have an accidental vagina in her face. CTG sat on the desk, legs spreadeagle. By the looks of it, Em had concluded that her stretch-gaucho's were making some attempt at labial form fitting. New brand maybe? It doesnt matter. The moral of the story is this;

Mommy told you to keep your knees together for a reason.

Ladies and lad's, meet Camel Toe Girl. *the way she talks is realistically depicted. Unfortunately so are my artistic skills. To my defense, touch-pads are hard to draw with.

Stay tuned! Chances are I'll blog again!

2008-10-16T14:02:00.000-07:00

Just for fun

Hate (I Really Don't Like Men)

2008-10-13T07:30:00.000-07:00

What's my reason today you ask? Well here, let me read you a story.

Once upon a 7 in the morning, I was at the bus stop with my friend. Same as every day. We were chatting!

Along came a *dude* and his posse.

His eyes automatically started wandering. As you may understand, this disrupts a conversation!

And as you may also understand, when one is being looked at (provided one isn't in the mood to fuck a dude... that rhymed!), one might feel a bit upset!

And as one stares at the starer, the starer may notice the afore pictured eye contact, as it is searing ever so violently through his thick little skull.

When the starer notices he has eye contact, he may even venture to be sexy! however my dear friends, this is impossible because one is gay and even if one wasn't gay, one doesn't go for beady little black eyes on a fatish balding mid 20's turkish guy. Nein danke.

So he gave me a;

I gave him a;

And I won our staredown when his face replied;

The moral of this story is: Don't let your children grow up to be assholes.

2008-10-12T09:07:00.000-07:00

10 Things I've done today:

1. Got over it
2. Written about Ernst Rohm
3. Chatted with Camel Toe Girl (proper noun, that's right)
4. Viewed things such as Pon and Zi <3

5. Attempted a cover of Gold Digger with my 6 year old sister
6. Failed
7. Been angry at an insect
8. Made this interesting graph

9. Nearly choked on an apple... again
10. Eaten nothing but crap.

Banner day my friends!

2008-10-11T13:47:00.000-07:00

I just realized something…

This has a happy ending, I swear.

For the longest time… as long as I can remember in little ways, I’ve felt like I wasn’t here. And not like “oh, right, Em, the one who thinks she can enter and exit the universe as she pleases”. I’m not insane, please bear with me. I mean I’m ‘not here’ in the sense of not emotionally being here. And it really bothered me.

Lately though it’s been worse. Have you ever been under so much stress with school, work, and… life… that you just completely shut off? Unfortunately this was a trick I taught myself when I was around 12 and things weren’t so happy at home. Only now I can’t stop it.

I’m okay with turning off my emotions so that I can do what I need to do. The only problem is that I can’t turn them back on. So I listen to depressing music to try to trigger at least something in me. And then the pictures start going through my mind. The pictures of before that melt away into the pictures of after. The pictures of that little girl who I wish I could go back and sit with on the porch…. In that car… I wish I could go back and tell her it’ll be alright. Tell her it turns out fine…
But right now I’m stuck here still trying to convince myself that’s exactly what it is.

I won’t let people touch me. I flinch when my own mother wants to hug me. Friends… forget it. I can’t have friends. I’ve known people here for three years, and they still have to ask how to spell my name. They know nothing about me, and the reason why? That’s how I want it. If I let them know anything about me, they could hurt me, and I’m scared to death of that.

I desperately want something… someone, even just one person who I can talk to. Just one god damned person in this whole world that I can tell anything. One person who knows me, and I know them. But it seems impossible.

It’s weird how life outside of this box that you’re staring into right now, reading I think the most emotional post I have ever and will ever post, changes so drastically. It’s weird how I can be one person in one place, and lack all but silence in another.

Anyone who is reading this has most likely met me online. Don’t you all think it’s incredibly interesting how you can be anything you want to be within this massively expansive piece of plastic and wires, and how easy it is to talk to people? I think it’s pretty neat. And I think that because I can say things on here that I would never, ever, even think about telling another person that I know. Or, as it seems, that I *don’t* know. Even if the actions I take through words on the internet are nowhere near who I really am, the emotions driving them are all the same. I can regurgitate pent up feeling until I’m blue in the face, and I still have the security that once I turn the computer off, I could disappear just as suddenly as I appeared.

But don’t get the wrong impression. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t need to.
The thing is, I’m comfortable with who I am. And I mean outside of the box. I’m comfortable being the quiet one. The one who people look to for creative opinion ^-^ . And the one who can handle having substance of thought, even if the teachers call me stubborn. I don’t want to change, and I like who I am, depressive as it sometimes gets :P

I’ve realized that people on the outside don’t know me not because I need to open up, but because they don’t care. You aren’t aware that you don’t know a person until you start getting to know them, after all.

And I don’t find it unhealthy at all, the way I deal with that temporary deadness of emotion. Depressing music is for the soul like a defibrillator is for the heart. Sometimes overkill is just the thing ;)

I used to wish I could open up, let people hug me instead of pushing everyone away… but now I’ve realized…. Why on the face of the earth would I want to hug someone I don’t even really know? Answer: I wouldn’t!

And, who needs to gossip? Apparently that's how friends are made... only problem is that I'm mostly happy with everything that's going on... I don't have problems with people, and I think that's an issue. I also think that people lately find fault in no overly stated, drastic, unrealistic opinions. I'm a bit tired of that.

I’m in no mood to change who I am. I’m perfectly comfortable in my oversized, probably black, combat boots. But there is one thing that I don’t really like…
Why am I the only one I know that’s like me?

I have a feeling it’s going to be a while before I can find a friend like the one I’m looking for… considering neither of us as any problem being inside of their comfort zone constantly. But someday I’ll find a whole colony full of us… it’ll be great! Just wait and see. :D

Song of the day: Moonlight Sonata – Beethoven

2008-10-11T00:41:00.000-07:00

Nice.

2008-10-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! WHY oh WHY?!!!?! http://www.afterellen.com/blog/reesedowitt/ab-fab-gets-an-american-makeover

Why, cruel world, does the U.S. have to keep making bad remakes of all that is British and funny?! GOD NOOO! ANYTHING but AB FAB!!! They already butt fucked The Office, but NO! No way in HELLLLL!!!! NOT my Fabulous Patsy and Eddy!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

*jumps off cliff*

I'm upset.

Somebody's bored

2008-10-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

Directions: use the shuffle function on your music player and see what you come up with in answer to the following questions.

How does the world see you?
Sir Mix-A lot – Baby Got Back (oh NICE. Make me *more* self conscious about my ass. Way to go.)

Will I have a happy life?
Murmurs – Smash (kinda yes?)

What do my friends really think of me?
Katy Perry – Lost (…thanks guys.)

Do people secretly lust after me?
R. Kelly – Ignition (is that a *yes*?! Oooh. How titillating. :P)

How can I make myself happy?
Juanes – Bailala (first must translate.)

What should I do with my life?
Andy Mckee - Rylynn (ah the songs without lyrics. Always the ones that guide me.)

Will I ever have children?
Frank Turner – To Take You Home (oh, I’m adopting? Thought so.)

What is some good advice for me?
Los Lonely Boys – More Than Love (great, It HAD to be in Spanish. And it HAD to be about love. Cant translate either of those things.)

How will I be remembered?
Lykke Li – Dance Dance Dance (I’ve actually never even heard this song…)

What is my signature dancing song?
Linkin Park – What I’ve Done (shows you what kind of dancer I am)

What do I think my current theme song is?
The Juliana Theory – Leave Like A Ghost (Drive Away)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Making April – I Wrote This Song

What song will play at my funeral?
Dashboard Confessional – Stolen (looks like I’m an organ donor)

What type of men/women do you like?
Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams (OMG NOOO! …well at least I get a variety..)

What is my day going to be like?
S Club 7 – Never Had A Dream Come True (hmm… my tweenhood has just come back to haunt me. I was 12, but Rachel was H. A. W. T.)

2008-10-05T12:28:00.000-07:00

What the hell?

Alanis Morissette - My Humps

2008-09-27T07:50:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple of days... I can blog again! About nothing...

What I should have been doing:

My extended essay. If I don't do that, I don't pass the IB diploma. I've written it, now I should be perfecting it. It's due tuesday.

What I did:

(Thanks to Monnster for the original fanart)

I discovered that, between myself and Gemma Arterton, there is in fact no resemblance. And then I ate pudding.

That's all for now!

2008-09-24T11:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, last post for a while. For the sake of "letting it sink in" O_0.

This is not a normal post, oh no it isn't. Mostly because it wont be followed by anything within the next 24 hours, but other reasons too. Like the reason that I've come up with something special. It's a recording! Of me! And my mom! With an appearance by the other two people in the house.

In this random recording, my mom and I discuss Lindsey Lohan's gayness. I think she's legit. Mama doesn't. By the way, I really badly stereotype gay men towards the end of this, and I'm so so sorry, I DIDNT mean it to sound that way. I dont think like that, I was just... yeah well I failed. Sorry. And it's only about 5 minutes, so its not like you need to take time out of your days for this.

Listen up suckers!!!

Other news? Today was great. We went out to the city with art to "sketch and view an exhibition" but really we all just went to subway and took pictures of ourselves at the museum. I mean, who likes modern art? Ick. Pics are on my myspace for thou who art befriended.

I payed off my ticket. Woot. I think the only reason I got it to be 7 euro instead of 40 though was because I gave the N00b at the desk the cutesy eyes. They said I did it wrong, and that that wasnt accepted, and that they can't accept it (because i didnt write my user number thingy on the ticket), so i'd have to pay 40 euro.....but.....o.....okay.

SCORE. He was kinda cute too... Shame.

Today was my last picture day as a highschooler. *sigh*. It was bittersweet. I teared up a little because... I'm like that. Fuck. Can't I do one thing without emotionally attaching to it?! It was just a group picture... surrounded in so many people who are all going completely different ways next year. In a normal high school, people just split off in counties. But here we split off in countries. Sure, we'll keep in contact for a while, but then life will get us, and this will all just be a good memory. Every single day I cant believe how lucky I am. I was ripped out of some small redneck dumbass town, going nowhere, unhealthy, unhappy, and stuck in the middle of Europe... put in an international school. I'm becoming more than i was ever supposed to be, and it's scary. I was supposed to drop out of school at 16 and work in a fast food restaurant living in my moms basement. Instead I got the chance to start over. I didn't get it at first... I had no clue what I was doing. I hated it. I hated everything. Then, sometime between the interviews with german high schools and the car accident, i realized that it was time to settle down. Time to make one lasting decision, just for the next two years. And to stick through with it until I could see what had just happened. So I took it. And to tell you the truth, I've never made a better decision. I certainly dont like school but... god... look at where I came from... look at what i was given compared to what I almost was... Somehow all of this homework, overtime, never being around my family, sleeping in puddles... somehow just trying, and all of this effort seems worth it. So it is a little sentimental leaving the people who made the same decision as me. The decision to become everthing that you can be, and to take the opportunity that was set at their feet. Some people left, but now... the people who stayed... I've known them for 3 years, and they're better friends than I've had in my life. They know exactly what's going on. We're all in the same boat, and for better or worse we're in it together. I have no clue what will happen in the next 9 months. Exams, sure, but I dont know if I'll pass. I doubt I will. But IB diploma, or not I tried. And I'm trying. And that's more than anyone would have ever been able to say of that overweight, unhealthy, unhappy kid from the redneck dumbass town I used to live in.

... so you see, it is a little emotional splitting ways with these people. One of us will go to Boston, one stays here, one to London, one to Melbourne, one to Ghana, one to India, one to Hawaii, one to the Royal Airforce, and me? ... well I dont really know. Seattle again maybe. Maybe I'll stay here and get an internship. Doesnt matter though. I'll aclimate. I always do.

Is it really almost the weekend? Damn. This has been a good week so far! NIIIICE change for once. Anyway, TTFN. I suppose I'll post again whenever.... but NOT for at LEAST 2 days. Because I'm a postaholic. And that's not right. I need substance damn it.

2008-09-23T07:26:00.001-07:00

Hmm... It's been 5 minutes... Time for a new post!!!

Song of today

Dreamer - Uh Huh Her

And additionally, for Monni's benefit, how freaking creepy is this? Very.

And Gem?

and I'll leave you with a story. Words my sister makes up! A long time ago, she made up the word "round" in reference to a cute boy, so now all cute boys are known as rounds. Today, it was a bit hysterical when she created a new word again. She was playing with polly pockets and talking to my mom and said "today they're feeling a bit toby". I almost fell off of the couch I laughed so hard. My mom asked her what it meant, and she said "you know, toby, .. spunky." So, from this day forward, toby is the new word for spunky. As in "ooh look at that round over there being all toby. i'll join him."

2008-09-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

Song of today

Red - Pieces

I really like this song. Fuck that it's a church band song, its more emo than religious. To religion I say nay nay, so lets get emotional.

2008-09-21T06:52:00.000-07:00

Song of today, hey!

First impressions (emo ukulele song) - Juuuuuuulia Nunes

<3

2008-09-20T07:01:00.000-07:00

STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUUUUUUUPPPPPIIIIIIDDDDD!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

*falls over*

Have you ever been, oh I don't know, stalking your old friends on myspace and seen a picture of one of them and thought how

GOD DAMNED FUCKING STUUUUUUUPID

you are because you didn't come out in time to go out with her because she's so fucking cute and exactly your type and she always was and you always had a crush on her but you didn't have the balls to come out so nothing could ever happen and even her parents liked you and told you that you were always welcome in her house and now you're so damn far away and cant do anything about how STUPID you were for ignoring the fact that you tripped over yourself because even though she was bi she would probably hate you for being gay and the fact that all of your friends other than one turned out to be gay and you were the only one who wasnt out just HAD to mean they'd disown you, and now you're ripping your hair out because seeing another picture of her just makes you remember how good she smelled or how warm she always was and how soft her skin was and how you got jealous of her girlfriend but you knew they were perfect together so you just watched but the other girl who was jealous couldnt handle it so they broke up but then you moved to an entirely different CONTINENT and now you dont even care that one of her best friends who used to be your best friend hated you because the rest of them were good friends and it doesnt matter anymore because YOU CANT FUCKING DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!

... maybe she'll go to the Uni I want to go to... hmm...

2008-09-19T06:45:00.000-07:00

AAAAH!!!! Someone rated my tab of The Circle a 5! This makes me happy! http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/w/wallis_bird/the_circle_tab.htm

2008-09-17T11:43:00.000-07:00

I feel like a random post.

1. I tabbed a song from the Hancock soundtrack today because it was pretty and I was bored.
2. I think Raven Symone is hot.
3. I watched the French music video channel almost all day while writing my extended essay.
4. wtf Britney Spears
5. This may be in Imperfect Tense but forgive me. I Knew Prufrock Before He Got Famous, and I saw him the other day and said I would like To Take You Home, so he said there's no Substitute for a free ride, but now we both have Jet Lag. Nevertheless there are Reasons Not To Be An Idiot, and not taking me up on my offer would have made him one. Long Live The Queen, she's A Love Worth Keeping. I'm told that's one of the reasons St Christopher Is Coming Home. In case you're not familiar with him, he's prufrocks Better Half. They write Love Ire & Song about them. Anyway, I'm headed off now. As Spongebob would say, "Photosynthesis"
6. What?
7. If you got that you're.... well, you're Monni.

I'm not on drugs. I've never done drugs. I don't even drink... ever. I think I might have a problem...

2008-09-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

HAAAH! Ticket is no more! Bitchezzz. Watch it, Em avoids getting trapped by the law like Jesus avoids getting damp. Suckers.

2008-09-15T10:23:00.000-07:00

Reasons I now believe that full moons have something to do with something, instead of nothing to do with anything.

If you followed that first sentence, you're doing well. Now see if you can pass the test I'd like to call "my day"

Reasons why no one should speak in the morning:

This morning I got off the tram. I walked into the school building, as you do, and said goodmorning to my fellow classmates who had showed up early... as opposed to the ones... who were not yet there. Ahem. Did I get a friendly "good morning!" back? No. I got, "oh hi, you're in deep shit."

Heh? Excuse me? Nice to see you too. Now what, darling, were you going to tell me?

"Yeah, you're in deep shit. Kai and I were rolling up the tent, and we... didnt "see" it, but Mr L checked and the top was still wet (my part, of course), and he got really frickin pissed and everbody's mad at you"

and that, my friends, is just how she said it. "everbody's mad at you". Thanks. I'm gonna go jump out the window now.

Reasons Why Ducks Are Not Also Humans:

Mondays after English we have German. English ended, so it only made sense to make my way to the next class. I stood outside the door, considering there was still a class inside, and waited.

My friend came happily bouncing over, as she always does (I swear that girl's not on the same planet), and starts to talk to me. Then over comes ... this girl. I've mentioned her before, but forgotten what I'd called her so we're going to procede from this point as if her name is Gyna. Not gee nah. Gyna. Like Va-gina. If you knew her, you'd know why.

She opened her locker, and came over, and in her comatose, drugged sounding voice, she said "what are we talking about? whaaat?" to which I replied kindly, "*WE* aren't talking about anything." and I walked away.

This girl REALLY has to lay off. I'll tell more later, because I don't feel like it now, but ... the camel toe was enough.

I walked, and purposely made myself look as if I had direction, SPECIFICALLY so they wouldn't follow me. I turned around, and after me skips my dear happyfriend. Guess who was following her? Thaaaat's right. Gyna!!

I turned to them, looking annoyed I'm sure, and said "you two are like fucking DUCKS!". To both of them, the reference was lost, so I had to explain that they were like ducklings, following their mother. And Gyna said "thats okay maaaama, we love following you"

My god if you could hear this girls voice. I SWEAR I can not deal with that grating, gooey accent one more fucking year. So I tried to walk away again, and asked politely that they not follow me. So Gyna follows me. I told her to stop, so she kept following me. FUCKER DOESNT GET A FUCKING HINT!!!!!!

I looked to her and said, "Gyna. Seriously. Back. The Eff. Off." and she wouldnt, so I went downstairs and had a nice conversation with the wall before I came back up. I hope she got the point.

Reasons Why Teachers Should Have Control:

German is always a fun class. The woman who runs it has no control whatsoever over the 5 students in her class, and we're all painfully aware. The boy actually passed an earbud off as a hearing aid. He says "I have something in my teeth" and cleans it with his middle finger pointing to her, and she goes off on a rant about the importance of dental care... honestly?

Today he was having a bitchfit and refused to do anything. He looked like he'd been punched in the side of the face. The knuckles were clearly visible along with the fist, in a nice red bruise on the side of his head. Charming young fellow.

I was paying attention, because I felt like learning for some odd reason, and my neighbour said something to me, so I looked to respond. That happened to be the second the already nerve-tortured teacher turned around and said,

"You know what?! Could you concentrate??? I mean, seriously, you NEVER pay attention!", understandably, I said "WHAT?!" and she replied "You know, I could equally be teaching a class to S, J, and A right now, at least they LOOK serious", Me: "I am serious!!! What are you talking about?!" Her: "this is probably boring for them! They did it all last year, it's just review,..." And by this time I'd had enough of the bull shit going on all day and said, "well why don't you just go right ahead and entertain them. If you'd pay attention, I AM concentrating. I'm copying everything down. I was concentrating five seconds ago, now you can teach them whatever you want to because obviously that's what you'd rather be doing."

I'm sorry I was disrespectful, but really woman, THINK before you speak. If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say it at all!

Reasons Why Laws Should Be Avoidable

On the tram. Going home. Day is odd, but I've accepted it. I turned around to go to the back of the tram because there was more standing room. God forbid there be actual seats, or at least posts to hang on to instead of the ticket machine. Whatever. Inertia and I are good buddies.

Heading for the back, and who do I run in to? The "AUSWEIS BITTE!!" Man! Yaaaaay him! Luckily, I always have a ticket. I have a neat month card and I can avoid the machine all together. I pulled it out, and showed it to him, and he asked me "can I please have that?" ... okay, sure.

"do you have any personal identification?" ...uh only my medical card. It'd actually be nice if I could have an ID, think you could hook me up?

"where were you born? In bremen?" Uhhh. hah. No actually, Washington.

"ach, den USA" oh, you took Geography I see. Do well did ya?

"what is the name of one of your parents?" Uhm S**N.

"Ahh S**N!" ... OMG you know him?! Cause he has to be the only one with that name in Germany. ... : /

"Okay, so you take this with you and take it to school and get it filled out, and take this to BSAG. Tschuuss." ... uhm bye!!

I GOT A FUCKING TICKET!!!! Heh!?!?!! I have a ticket! But apparently the date of expiration was ... well last month. Goodness. I bought a month ticket, but the thing saying that I'm in school was out of date. Whaateverrrrrr. I'm done giving a rats ass. Take your stupid 40 euro's. Buy some damn tooth paste.

Reasons Why I'm Glad This Day Is Over

... Reasons why I don't have to answer that anyone?

2008-09-13T14:02:00.001-07:00

Dear Ultimate-guitar.com,

thank you for understanding my concerns mentioned below. I appreciate that now my proper interpretation of The Circle is up instead of whoever crashed and burned so badly last time it was attempted.

love,
Em.sss

2008-09-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

You know what I like? Gay childrens movies.

You know what else I like? Barbie movies. I've seen them all. Thanks sis, now I like them *without* the fact that my sister started it.

You know what I like even more than both of these things? Gay Barbie movies.

Thats right, the Dolls have gone queer. Dont believe me? Well my darlings, have a lookie here. The new movie "Barbie and the Diamond Castle" is possibly the GAYEST thing I've ever seen. It tops Imagine Me and You for matel's sake.

For you people who are too lazy to click "play" I'll go through this in pictures.

The other day I was watching stuff on youtube with my sister when we came across a new Barbie movie. A lot of people have complained that the Barbie always has to find her prince in the end. Why cant she be strong and independant of a man? well... answered.

The movie starts off introducing two friends who play guitar and sing together. More precisely, they "dream the same dream, whenever i'm here for you you're here for me, whoa, two voices, one song". The little sister of one storms in and blah blah blah they go off telling this story about two girls who were best friends. These best friends were... well... special friends.

They live together.

They chase each other around while fighting about who does the dishes.

All in good friendship, no? Thats what me and my friends do... And you know what? If I found -

- two perfectly matching heart rocks, -

- of course I'd give it to my friend!

But I wouldnt stop there, no... I'd .... make a necklace out of it! Yeah that!

Quote from movie: "I guess the fancy carriage will have to wait until next year"
Connection to gay marriage? Undeniable.

If you were designing a movie about two best friends, first of all the symbol would NOT be a heart. I think, unless that now symbolizes eating pizza, sleeping on each others floors, and playing dress up together. I thought it meant love...

And if you were designing this about friends, you would NOT have them pictured... well... like this!!!

Its just so romantic. The whole thing. I mean, they go on a long journey and uh... recede on a rainbow bridge together... yeah. thats not gay.

Quote from movie: prince 1: "whats wrong with that picture?" 2: "everything."

Haters. Always keeping them down.

You'll be happy to know that they DID make it to the big white castle eventually, and they had a nice little ceremony inside!

That wasnt a wedding! Noooo! It was a .... well it was a commitment ceremony! And you know, at the end of every good "coming together" there is a ride away in the "just married" carriage. Only, matel couldnt be that obvious, so they used a unicorn! woo!

and they ride into the distance, the crowd waving goodbye to the newly bound lovers.

I mean, seriously. WHAAAT?!! I laughed SO HARD through this entire freaking movie! Its SOOOO GAAAAAYYYY!!!! I love it so much! GAAAAAAYAYAYAYAYYY!

So if this was interesting enough, please, do watch this first part. Its... its really gay, and I cant believe it happened but there is no WAY these two are friends. Just look at the way they gaze at eachother! QUEERS!!! Barbie and Kendra, here we come!

"the way we talk, the things you say, the way you make it all okay. If i could wish for one thing, i'll take the smile that you bring, wherever you go in this world I'll come along. together we dream the same dream, wherever i'm here for you you're here for me, two voices, one song"

G A Y.

2008-09-08T13:28:00.000-07:00

Did you ever get that feeling that something bad is gonna happen / happening / happened very very recently? ... fuck.

Song of the second:

Apocalyptica - Bittersweet

2008-08-31T03:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Ultimate-guitar.com,

I was perusing your selection recently, and I noticed that Wallis Bird finally had some chords posted. Thrilled at the opportunity, I stopped in to try them out. I had been waiting quite a while for someone to tab The Circle, so my excitement was to be expected. Much to my dismay, the chords sucked ass. As a result of this, I got pissed and tabbed the fucker myself. I hope you put my tabs up soon, so as to avoid this emotion in other users.

Sincerely,
Emmy

2008-08-30T06:05:00.000-07:00

Choices, choices... to blog or to write my history internal assessment... by now it should be apparent which one I've made. So when my history teacher asks me for my presentation, I can proudly step in front of the class and say something along the lines of this:

And on the quiz he gives us;

He may ask for my sources, to which I would reply;

... I'm bored. Not bored as in bored, I mean I have things to do, I just don't want to do them. I feel like reading, but not the books they give us for school. I want to read The Elegant Universe, and Running With Scissors, and How Green Was My Valley...

I think I'm getting old... and I know I'm not, but yesterday my sister (the 6 year old) was looking at baby pictures of me and she said "wow! I didn't think you had colored cameras back then!" ...

Speaking of my sister, she's learning how to spell. She got out her magna-doodle and wrote Kat. I said, actually honey, it's a C. So she wrote Kac. :D And then she wrote Dag. So everbody, watch out for those kacs and dags... they'll get ya. :P

She spells in computer language. She wrote U R A Dk. Which translated to "you are a dork". Thankfully...

She also managed to write "No Berds" <3>

She rounded off the writing day by spelling "honk" and then left to play outside... and now I'm sitting here procrastinating. ... end post.

P.S. September 27th, Heidelberger Herbst Marktplatz, 8pm. Wallis Bird. Monni? GRRRRRRRRRRRAWR. If y'all haven't heard of this angel in song, check her out. www.myspace.com/wallisbird

2008-08-28T10:52:00.000-07:00

Today

People on the tram, and people in general, should really learn to accept the fact that they fucked up and move on with life. Scene: on the express tram, doesnt stop at all stops. guy gets on wearing red converse. I smile because I have the same shoes (not at him, just... i smiled). tram starts to go.

Either this guy didn't notice, or thought he was some sort of Jesus walkin' on water... getting off of express trams whereverthefuck he wants... He walked up and pushed the button for the door to open. It didn't open (cause ... it wasnt supposed to). He pushed it vigorously in some sort of panic, and then when the tram passed his stop he yelled "ah SCHEISSE!!!!!!!!" and a bunch of other naughty words, went around stomping his feet, and finally settled for leaning against the wall, cursing under his breath, and pouting. When the tram stopped, he literally (not figuratively, or biblically) LAUNCHED out of the tram, knocking several other people out of his way, and ran over to the other side of the tracks to go back only to notice that the next tram didnt come for 7 more minutes.

Lesson learned: dont judge a person by their shoes. just because he has red converse does not negate the fact that he could, in fact, be an ax murderer ready to chop your head off at the ... push of a button!

I mean, for s'doG sake, the tram fucking SAYS "*ping* fahrzeug ohne halt bis [whatever]strasse" ... just accept that you've made a fucking fool of yourself, and move on! Not like its the first time it's ever happened! Example: me! *gets on bus* *bus starts going* oh... shit. this is the wrong direction. *pushes button* *gets off* *walks back* ... that simple buddy! dont aggravate me at 7 in the morning!!!!

anyway:

1. I have a history test tomorrow. Fuck.
2. We're not allowed to use laptops in German anymore, so here's to another year of losing all of the papers. Fuck.
3. I have a cold. Fuck.
4. I've just invented the new way of sending telegrams. Fuck.

on the bright side, it's almost Friday! And then I can sleep kinda until I write my history internal assessment and ... yeah. I'm going to bed.